Ibiza News 856


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The Ibizan 856 ~ 27 April 2017

  • This full text version of the newspaper edition does not include images and other graphical elements. Most key articles are available as separate posts, including all images, graphs, sources etc used in the printed newspaper, and sometimes additional content.

Front Page

Year of The Scam

  • Homeowner finds his flat has been rented out to 2 men while he was away.
  • Landlady arrested for taking 3,400€ from tenants, including 1,000€ in fictitious fees, then forcing eviction by cutting water supply.
  • Consell calls for Citizens to turn informer on illegally rented apartments.
  • Many tales of rental heartache.
    • Nick Gibbs

It is perhaps inevitable that with Ibiza’s much reported property crisis, the opportunity to exploit the situation for criminal gain would attract some of society’s worst examples of moral-compass lacking lowlifes looking to make a fast buck at the expense of other’s misery.

With the arrival of the summer workers including the ideal prey of those blissfully ignorant of the potential to be subject of a rental rip off, we are starting to see evidence of the scammers at work.

In this issue we report two quite different scenarios in so far as how the scam was set up, but very similar in their outcome of the victim ending up without a home and several thousand euros the poorer.

We also report on the Consell’s call for the citizens of Ibiza to become its informer army, asking for illegal holiday lettings to be reported directly to them by email, though we wait to see any evidence of effective action being taken as a result.

Though all of these reports are indicative of the problems caused by the housing situation, they are not the most numerous, nor the saddest, reaching our inbox.

That dubious honour has to go to the ever increasing number of people we are hearing from who are coming to the end of long term tenancies taken before the boom. People who are finding that their landlords are asking for huge increases in rent to write a new lease. Increases of 50%, 100%, we have heard tell of up to 300%, and as mad as those increases sound, chances are they are achievable in the current market. But for the tenant, somebody that may have family, jobs, somebody that has put down roots and made their life here, such increases are simply not tenable.

These situations are not Scams. The landlord is not breaking any rules. They have waited until the end of the term and then wish to maximise the commercial return from their property. Your perception of the morality of that will depend where you sit on the political spectrum. But they are not breaking any laws—unless of course they need to let the property illegally to get the income they feel achievable, but that really is a separate matter and the satisfaction of reporting them to the Consell’s email hotline if they did so will be of little comfort to the displaced tenant.

Ibiza has always carried a price premium, but let us say this price surge started in 2015 and really took off in 2016.

People with long term tenancies more than a couple of years old will be likely to have 5 year contracts. This means we are only at the start of this renewal rental crisis, and I feel this is likely to be where the real pain lies.

These are not people who may simply decide to not bother coming back again next season, or will live in fours bunks to a room barrack apartments if that’s all they can afford. These are our people. The people we live and work with all year round. People with children who sound British, but have only ever attended a Spanish school. And of course it will not just be us English speakers, the problem will affect the indigenous population too.

These are the worst stories in my inbox and when out and about. People who have had their lives turned upside down overnight—and the hopelessness they seem to feel that there is any solution to regain that settled family home life.

It is important to remember that some landlords are consciously forgoing the increased returns they could receive. I heard one story only yesterday of a 5 year rent of a family home now renewed on the 3 year term at 900€, an increase of just 50€ on their last lease.

Few of us could claim to have any real knowledge of how this will all pan out. Increased wages? A bubble burst? Pure survival of the fittest? Who knows. But one thing is for sure, our chances of getting through it with as little heartache as possible will be better if we can avoid a ’them and us’ landlords v tenants’ mentality. That is not the issue. The issue is one of good people and bad people and they exist on both sides of that property divide.

We just have to trust that the Ibizan mentality, consciousness, community, whatever it is, will ultimately win out—though perhaps some vision of good triumphing over evil  is pure fantasy in the world we live.

For now, two things are for sure…

There are scammers and wrong ‘uns among us.

Take care.

And there are neighbours losing their homes.

Do what you can to help take care of them.


Restaurant Receives 10,000€ Fine For Beach Wedding

  • San Jose Council has filed a fine of 10,000€ to a restaurant that organised a wedding on the beach in Cala Vadella last summer. The complaint states that they installed several elements on the sand, such as chairs and tables, without authorisation.

The event happened on July 29, 2016, when an unnamed restaurant occupied part of the beach for the celebration of this event, committing a very serious violation of Law 7/20, of Legal Regime of Facilities, Access and Exercise of activities of the Balearic Islands.

In a statement issued by the Council it is inferred, but not stated categorically, that the restaurant was one of those in Cala Vadella with a beach front location.

The Local Police denounced this illegal occupation of the beach, which prompted the opening of a sanctioning file against the restaurant for a very serious violation of Article 104.2 – ‘the installation of major non-permanent activities and major itinerant activities, which have not been submitted prior notice, the responsible statement or the attached documentation that must be presented before the administration’.

  • San Jose has blanket ban on private functions on public beaches

San Jose Council also reported that they will continue to prevent new situations of abuse and privatisation of public space and that the installation of elements on the beach without authorisation, such as tables, chairs, gazebos or others, is prohibited.

They will also not grant permits to organise weddings or other events of a private nature on the beaches of the municipality.


  • Ibiza Town playpark designs to be decided by the children.

The Plenary Infantile of Ibiza Town Council celebrated last week after unanimously approving the participation of the municipality’s children in the design process of playgrounds.

First in line for a revamp will be that of Can Misses. The session was attended by students from the Fifth Elementary of the Primary and Secondary Schools of Can Cantó, Can Misses, Portal Nou, Sa Bodega, Sa Graduada, Sa Joveria and Cas Serres.

The plenary took place under the framework of the didactic unit ‘Our city as a leisure area’, where the students talked about their concerns and their proposals on children’s leisure, which were collected by town planning and education technicians from the City Council to give them shape.

The proposal that children participate in the design of playgrounds was approved and applauded by all present. From now on infrastructures dedicated to children’s leisure will count on the participation of children who, from the different park projects that are proposed, will decide which is the most liked. In this open process, children will be able to contribute to the initial project, decide the types of games and also their location.

“This initiative intends to carry out urban planning aimed at the children of the municipality, since they have much to say about the spaces where they have to enjoy their leisure time,” said the City Hall through a press statement. “It is an additional measure of citizen participation by this government team and participation in the decision-making of the children of the municipality as a Child Friendly City,” they said.

Izan Wins First Battle In La Voz

The performance of Izan Llunas was highlighted and praised by Judge David Bisbal and was finally chosen by his coach, Antonio Orozco, to continue in the talent contest La Voz Kids, which is aired on Tele 5. Izan and two of his teammates sang ‘We are the world’ by Michael Jackson. It is the first ‘battle’ in which one of the two Ibizan contestants participated. Marc Cuevas Pomar, will be aired in the coming weeks.

Izan, who was 11 when he recorded the show, is the son of singer Marcos Llunas, who won the OTI festival and participated in Eurovision, and grandson of the popular Dyango.

Hunter Fined And Licence Revoked

  • Santa Eulalia Council denounces a hunter in the courts for refusing to surrender his weapon.

Santa Eulalia Council have referred a hunter to the courts for refusing to deliver a shotgun, to the Guardia Civil. The hunter was initially found to be hunting with a shotgun at a distance of less than 100 metres from a detached house and an agricultural warehouse, therefore not respecting the mandatory safety distance from buildings.

The Council agreed to impose a fine of 2,001€ as a penalty for the serious infringement, as well as the withdrawal of the hunting license issued in favour of the owner. The license must be delivered to the Insular Council’s premises within 15 days from notification of the agreement or further fines will be applied.

The sanction also includes disqualification of the hunter to obtain a hunting license for a period of two years and to maintain the weapon involved.

Lala’s Land

  • Lala the German Shepherd Joins The San Antonio Police Force

San Antonio Police gained a new recruit to their ranks  for the Suenos de Libertad Festival last weekend.

Lala joined the local police to assist in the control of the event, however will be available to reinforce the service throughout the year.

Driver Unscathed in ‘Spectacular’ Tunnel Crash

A driver was unhurt after crashing his car against the entrance of the Sant Rafael tunnel heading towards Sant Antoni. Apparently, the vehicle, a Ford Courier, hit one side of the tunnel and then the other. The driver walked away from the incident and firemen were left clearing the debris.

The accident was very spectacular, explained the firemen.

Reduced Price 2€ Salada Shuttle

  • San Antonio Council are planning to continue and extend Cala Salada’s access restrictions in 2017.

In an effort to “further improve public ease of access” to the beach situated to the North of San Antonio, they have announced plans to cut the cost of the shuttle service by 50%, whilst also adding additional physical barriers.

Pablo Valdes, Councillor for the Environment, expects the price to be 2€, and only 1€ for residents. Last summer it would have cost 4€ and 2€ respectively.

The shuttle timetable and frequency will remain the same as last summer and will come into effect between mid-May and June at the latest.

The Council intends to install additional wooden huts and barriers to prevent unauthorised access  to the beach in an aid to avoid its notorious traffic bottlenecks.

After the very limited car parking spaces are taken, access is by foot or shuttle bus only.

Cala Bassa Restaurant Denounced for Breach of Beach Reach

  • The police of Sant Josep have denounced a restaurant for having furniture beyond the limits of their permitted area.

The incident occurred on the 13th April during an inspection when police found a large wooden cabinet used to store cutlery, tablecloths etc. on the sand along with tables, chairs and banned containers such a glass and ceramic to serve their clientele.

Municipal regulations on the use of public beaches for private enterprise categorise the infringements as being ‘very serious’. In light of this, the Council will open a sanctioning file against the restaurant.

The Police also denounced the establishment for having music loud speakers directed towards the beach while a DJ played without the necessary permissions.

This is the latest in a series of actions against private use of public beaches by the borough—see also in this edition ’Restaurant Receives 10,000€ Fine’ article opposite.

The moves follow considerable public opposition to what some see as the ‘privatisation’ of Ibiza’s beaches by high end venues catering only to affluent clients.


Friday 28th April 2017

  • Bucanero Opening, Cala de Bou from 9pm – See Flyer
  • Costa del Folk, Port Des Torrent, see article

Costa del Folk

Seaview Hotel, Port D’es Torrent, to May 1st

  • Claire B

This weekend and something new for The White Isle is the staging of the Costa Del Folk festival in Ibiza, which takes place at the Sea View Country Club in Port D’es Torrent for 5 days from April 25-May 1.

Created as a 5-day English folk festival in the sunshine, there’s an extensive line-up over the festival that includes Midge Ure with India Electric Co., Tom Robinson, Steve Knightley’s Wake the Union Band, Will Pound & Eddy Jay, Mighty Doonans and many more. There’s an outdoor stage for afternoon concerts plus an indoor venue for evening concerts. They are offering discounts for residents (with proof of residency) – a day pass costs 30€ and a 5-day pass costs 120€. Details and the full line-up is at:


Saturday 29th April 2017

  • Gran Feria Vinol, Boutique Hostal Salinas, 1-9pm

‘The greatest wine and vinyl fair in Ibiza’. There will be record collectors selling rare and discount vinyl, DJ workshops for kids, Naked Wine Ibiza pouring their organic wine and more hand crafted stalls, clothes, jewellery.

  • Koningsdag Ibiza 2017, Nassau Tanit – 14:00

Celebrate the 2017 Koningsdag with Dutch delicacies, a flea market and DJ’s Martijn Ten Velden, Ken Abel & Johannes.

  • Cesars Beach Bar Opening, S’argamassa, 1pm

This family run, well established beach bar opens its doors for 2017 and showcases their new menu. For those in early attendance there will be some complimentary beers and tapas. To book lunch call 611 325 845.

  • XVII Centro de Danza Show, Espai Can Ventosa Cultural Centre—18:30 (also Sunday)

A charity event for the Vicente Ferrer Foundation showcasing Classic, Modern, Contemporary and Flamenco dances.

  • Costa del Folk, Port Des Torrent, see article
  • San Jordi Fiestas, see article
  • Pike’s Opening Party, see article
  • Ibiza Cricket Club – see flyer

Pikes Opening

  • Claire B

Pikes has been closed over the winter for some refurbishments but is ready to open its doors this weekend and reveal all. Expect a new-look Freddie’s with the same devilishly decadent party vibes as before plus a new look menu in Room 39. Lots of exciting parties have been announced so far and here’s a round-up of some of them.

Opening party – April 29 The Opening Party is on Saturday April 29, with an array of the island’s favourite DJs and promoters from 7pm poolside taking the party right through to the next morning. Featuring music on the night from Artwork, Melon Bomb, Rock Nights, Justin Harris, Brothers Grim, Harley Maxwell, David Phillips, Andy Wilson and Flamenco from Paco Fernandez, plus Bathtub Karaoke and Dressing Up in the Boudoir with Sunny. Poolside from 7pm, Dinner from 8 and party from midnight. Free entrance with guest list from:


Melon Bomb @ Pacha

  • Claire B

After their last takeover of Pacha a few weeks ago, the crew return to fill the dancefloor again on Saturday April 29. On the decks will be Corbi, Scott Gray, Graham Sahara plus very special guest Hot Toddy from Crazy P (DJ set).

More info on Facebook – Melon Bomb at Pacha:


Sunday 30th April 2017

  • Koningsdag Party, Tulp, San Antonio—14:00

What better way to celebrate Kings day than at Tulp with Paul and a party. See article.

  • Last Lunch, Mariposa Pool Bar, Santa Eulalia

Your last chance to enjoy Sunday lunch at this lovely poolside restaurant with live music from Lauren Kaycee. Reservations are essential. Tel: 666807081 / 671260578.

  • Sunday social walk with Walking Ibiza – 11:00

Cala Boix to Pou des Lleo.

  • XVII Centro de Danza Show, (see Saturday)
  • Costa del Folk, Port Des Torrent, see article
  • San Jordi Fiestas, see article
  • Sunday Stroll, TorreSal Rossa. See Article
  • Ibiza Cricket Club – see flyer


  • Tulp, San Antonio, Sunday 30th

Every cloud has a silver lining, and Thursday’s heavily raining clouds certainly had one, as the Tulp Koningsdag party due to take place on the 27th, before we printed, has been rescheduled to Sunday the 30th, giving plenty of time to tell you all about it.

Tulp has a great atmosphere from the day it opens until its Autumn closing. Too cool for fools, their laid back chill is the essence of what a beach bar should be—not forgetting that awesome sunset of course.

So it is not like they need a special occasion to make it a great place to be, but Koningsdag—that’s Kings Day just in case your Dutch is a little rusty– is certainly special enough to make it to make it to the top of your Sunday shortlist.

Far more like St Patrick’s Day than our own Monarch’s rather sedate celebrations, but of course orange instead of green and pickled herrings instead of pickled people.

OK the herring may be an acquired taste (one which I have long since acquired), but all other Dutch delicacies that will undoubtedly be doing the complimentary rounds will be assuredly delicious—you’ll love it, though you might struggle to spell it.

And a final tip to impress the Netherlands natives, a greeting is made with a kiss not twice, but thrice, which is nice.

Find Tulp on the S’Arenal Beach promenade. See advert on front page or visit


Sunday Stroll

  • Claire B

Walking and Cycling from Ibiza Town

The Sports Department of Ibiza has a walking and cycling program up until May. Full details here:


On Sunday April 30 the walk is from Torre Sal Rossa to Sa Caleta. Starts from the car park at the Hotel Palladium (Platja d’en Bossa) at 9:30 h. Platja d’en Bossa – Parc Natural Ses Salines – Es Codolar – Sa Caleta. 8.5 km. Low/medium difficulty. Cost is 3€ in advance or 5€ on the day and includes transport back from Sa Caleta. Tickets and information from: Piscina de Can Misses, Monday to Friday from 9.00 h – 21.00 h and Piscina Es Viver, Monday to Friday from 9.00 h – 21.00 h. and Saturday from 9.00 h – 13.00.

Monday 1st May 2017

  • Sound Storm, Pacha – 23:59

Join Graham Sahara as he celebrates 20 years on the island and 15 of those as resident at Pacha. Joinging him are Jey Kurmis and Trevor O’Neil.

  • Costa del Folk, Port Des Torrent, see article
  • San Jordi Fiestas, see article

San Jordi Fiestas

  • Claire B

The fiesta in San Jordi continues into May with an impressive range of cultural and sporting events taking place over the next few weeks. Events announced include a car show, a winemaking competition, sports events, dancing, live music and activities for children. The link to the full programme online is below, but here are some of the highlights of the fiesta.

  • Saturday April 29 from 21.00 h – concert with B Side (Eivissa), En Seco (Jerez), La Trocamba Matanusca (Ontinyent) and DJ Bebe.
  • Sunday April 30 from 21.00 h – VII Tour Jordier. Live music, DJs and cheap food and drink offers in most of the bars in the town – a tapa + beer, wine or soft drink for 2.50€. Concert with Windrose, Esperitrons and DJ Lost Angeles in La Plaça de Sant Jordi.
  • May 1 11.00 h Exhibition of classic cars, organized by the Club de Moto Clàssica d’Eivissa i Formentera and the Clàssic Automòbil Club d’Eivissa.

Wednesday 3rd May 2017

  • Short & Sweet walk with Walking Ibiza – 10:00

TBA. Tea and cakes will be served at the end.

Thursday 4th May 2017

  • Cala Llonga Market – 18:00-24:00

Running every Thursday until mid-October, the market runs along the beach promenade. Enjoy live music, artisan market stalls and stop at one of the many restaurants while there.

  • Anemal Cine, Multicines Eivissa , Ibiza – 20:30

‘A Quiet Passion’ – biographical film written and directed by Terence Davies about the life of poet Emily Dickinson starring Cynthia Nixon. English with Spanish subtitles.


Pre-Fab Property Penalty

  • Santa Eulalia Council have initiated 3 sanctioning procedures for both the buyer and seller of a pre-fabricated house with no licence located in Can Luis de sa Rota.
  • The buyer could face a fine of 110,630€ and the seller 64,875€.

Having purchased the prefabricated house and arranged for delivery to its intended site, it was decided that the load would need a Police Escort due to its size and route.

On attending the transportation as requested, Police asked for sight of the required licences for structures of that type. When the owner was unable to provide the documentation, Police state they issued repeated warnings that the building must not be offloaded. The property owner is said to have ignored the Police and continued to place the prefabricated building on his land.

In view of this, the Infractions service has opened a file against the transport company with possible fines of 64,875€.

There were also found to be four smaller buildings which fall under an urban infraction and the outcome for the landowner is fines of up to 74,750€.

In addition, if they are not removed by the deadline set of May the 12th, additional punitive penalties could be imposed of up to 35,880€.

Santa Eulalia stated that the action was being taken as  part of an ongoing campaign to detect pre-fabricated houses, fixed caravans or similar dwellings, which do not have the correct licence.

Police Arrest Two For Multiple Robberies With Violence

The Guardia Civil have determined that two men detained for a violent robbery carried out in a flat on C/Progreso in San Antonio, are also the perpetrators of the robbery and assault on the home of the Justice of Peace of Sant Joan.

Both detainees are Spanish. Police had initially arrested them as alleged perpetrators of the San Antonio theft, committed with covered faces and armed with a knife. They stormed the flat, threatening one of the two occupants, while they searched the home demanding money.

  • The Guardia set up surveillance to snare the

A struggle ensued during the robbery and one of the two of the inhabitants received injuries to the head and face. The assailants then fled on foot through the streets. The victims were transferred by ambulance to Can Misses.

During the following investigation, police identified one of the aggressors and set up surveillance at his home. They found the second perpetrator to be living at the same address and proceeded to arrest both men.

The detainees, both with a criminal record of similar incidents, are charged with robbery with violence. In addition, one of them is breaking his parole, as he lives with his girlfriend despite having a restraining order. The second detainee has a warrant for his arrest in Seville.

  • Justice Of Peace Robbed

Three criminals stormed a house in the early evening in San Miguel last week, tying up the owners and escaping using the owner’s vehicle.

The event, which has shocked the neighbourhood, took place at the house of Vicente Daroca, Sant Joan’s Justice of Peace. Apparently, the assailants entered the house, located in a farm of Rubió, Sant Miquel. Inside, they tied up the Justice of Peace and his wife, followed by one of their children. According to the Guardia Civil, the aggressors took money and fled the scene in Darocas car, which was subsequently found burnt-out in Sant Llorenç.

Letting Scams & Letting Informers

Woman Arrested For  Fraud & Illegal Eviction

  • Landlord took 3,400€ from tenants including falsified fees, then evicted them.

The Guardia Civil in Sant Antoni have  arrested a 46-year-old Argentinian woman, as the alleged perpetrator of a crime of coercion, fraud and documentary misrepresentation, according to a press release from the Interior Ministry.

The incident occurred in a house owned by the detainee, located in Sant Antoni, when police were called after a “discussion” with the tenants. The owner had demanded that the tenants leave the house although they had just paid € 3,400 to cover rent for the current month, security deposit and a real estate management fee.

When they would not leave she cut off their water supply in an attempt to force the issue.

Once in the property Police verified that in addition to the coercions, the detainee had committed a crime of fraud and documentary falsification, since the contract included the collection of an amount of money, 1,100 euros, detailed as the expenses of real estate management company. It was discovered that the company was entirely fictitious, and the landlord could not provide any documentary evidence that would justify the management fee being taken from the tenants.

Local Man Finds His Flat Has Been Rented Out

  • An Ibicenco has been forced to denounce two unwitting victims of a letting scam.

The local man had purchased a new flat and had been moving in his possessions gradually over the last few weeks.

When he went to the flat with some more of his boxes, he found the locks had been changed.

On calling the Guardia Civil, he was told he had to wait until the flat was occupied before they would intervene.

When he was aware the flat was occupied he called the Guardia Civil who attended and discovered two men and a dog were in the apartment.

One of the occupants, who was wearing the owner’s clothing adding insult to injury, presented what appeared to be a contract and a rental payment receipt.

The men explained that they had signed the contract with a man to whom they had paid 2,000€, one month rent and two months more as a deposit (650€ per month).

The contract was signed by a person with the same name as a Portuguese man who, on 30 March, was sent to prison by the Orense court for several real estate frauds, six of them committed in Ibiza.

According to the police, the detainee took advantage of the high demand for rental housing on the island and the high prices paid in season, and inserted numerous advertisements on the best-known websites offering property to let that he had no rights over.

Consell Call On Citizens To Report  Illegal Rents

As part of a programme to eliminate illegal holiday lettings, the Consell have published information on how to report this activity. There are now two ways in which citizens of Ibiza can denounce non-regulated tourist lettings, either in person at Consell offices or by simply sending an email directly to  the address below.

The Consell are particularly interested in illegal apartment rentals as this is one of the biggest, and most difficult to tackle, areas.

“We ask for your help and thank you” said Insular Director for Tourism Vicent Torres Benet “Now we have the informers who will work at ground level”, he added.


18 of 40 Anti-Fire Water Deposits in Place

  • The Association of Forest land owners of Ibiza maintains its objective of installing 40 anti-fire deposits on the island, of which 18 are already a reality, declared Association president Rafel Tur.

“We will try to reach 40 because it’s true the rain this winter has gone well and the aquifers are recovering, but at the same time they cause more grass, more forest, and more risk in summer… because there will be more mass to burn we must prepare for what may come,” he explained.

Tur reiterated that “we are happy with the project and many people thanked us because they know how useful it is.” “With the technicians we study the ideal number of deposits and the ideal is almost 50 because the response time to a fire is vital… It is a very beautiful project and has made people in Ibiza aware of the danger of fires,” he insisted.

Tur went on to say that they are studying “proposals of people interested in installing deposits in a particular way on their lands, although they will be of public interest”. “We look at how we can do them in a simple and economical way,” he added.

The Association reported that San Jose was ‘covered’ with the installation of four or five deposits and that there was a greater need in Sant Joan, although after the recent large fires, it is possible that there is not so much combustible mass at risk. “Areas of the island with a high density of people, such as Salines or Comte are also in need of these deposits, so that the fire fighters have quick access to water sources”, he added.

Ibiza Airport Fire Causes Chaos

  • A fault in a UPS (uninterruptable power source) caused a fire that disrupted 11 flights and caused 3 cancellations.

The event occurred Saturday 22nd April and according to witnesses, a light went out first then a very unpleasant smell began to appear in a room, followed by the presence of smoke from the tunnels where suitcases are loaded, which then became dense.

The emergency automatic doors and shutters were closed, trapping 12-14 passengers and terminal staff without ventilation.

Workers tried to escape through a staff entrance, but they could not see to use their magnetic security cards.

Fortunately, security officers heard their subsequent banging and the people were rescued, slightly dazed from fumes, but all well.

Two hours after the incident normality started to resume – the lights were fixed and with them the barriers to the car park which had been rendered inoperable by the fire—in turn causing major traffic jams.

According to a report in the Diario AENA fully investigated the emergency doors of the baggage area and confirmed they worked “perfectly” Saturday night stating “there are enough emergency doors according to the regulations, they are signposted and work perfectly in case of evacuation”.

 Cancer Vaccine Breakthrough

  • Researchers at the University of Valencia’s Faculty of Medicine have developed a genetically engineered medicine they claim to be an effective vaccine against all forms of cancer, stating that it could be ready for human clinical trials in a year, if the necessary funding was available.

According to the Professor of Pharmacology, UV, and head of Clinical Pharmacology at La Fe, Dr Salvador Aliño, the vaccine has proven to be effective against all types of cancer in animals, provided it is administered before the tumour has formed.

The cancer vaccine is currently only beneficial as a preventative measure and would involve inoculating each member of the population without cancer, “a financial impossibility”, Dr. Aliño admitted.

Once a tumour has formed, the vaccine is not effective, because tolerance to the vaccine is generated.

For this reason, Valencian researchers, including Aliño, María José Herrero, Antonio Miguel and Luis Sendra, have been working on the development of a genetically modified drug which ‘silences’ the responsible tolerance genes of the tumour, and the vaccine can then be applied.

The vaccine, they state, will then disperse and destroy all the cancer cells present in the body at the time.

This work, they claim, has shown that the tumour cell vaccine, combined with the silencing of Foxp3 or CTLA4 genes, may increase the efficiency of therapeutic antitumor vaccination.

The next step would be to achieve the same results with human genes in the laboratory, but the problem, according to EFE Aliño, is that “there is no funding to develop the silencing drug in human genes.”

He estimates that the drug could be completed in one year if it had the necessary funding, estimated at about 50,000€, corresponding to a person’s work for a year, but regrets the difficulties that researchers have to raise funds.

Can Misses: 100,000€ Budget For Lift to Stop People Using Car Park “Getting Wet”

Can Misses will receive a new lift, which links the car park directly to the building, the idea being that ‘on rainy days, users will be covered at all times’.

At the moment the project has been drafted, then it must be contracted following an engineering and architectural study. It is estimated to cost 100,000€ with those responsible stating that this is not merely ‘a lift’, but one that will allow a stretcher if necessary.

Parts of the wall will be demolished for its insertion, however most work will take place in the car park.

While the main objective is to facilitate access for people with mobility problems and prevent users from getting wet in the rain, they do concede that this access will reduce parking costs to patients and visitors ‘since the time of movement from one area to another will be less’.

  • Editorial Comment:

Has anybody questioned why they didn’t just do it that way in the first place? i.e The logical way. The obvious way. Lifts could have been located anywhere in the hospital car park’s huge space, generally huge empty space. For those that do not know, the huge hospital car park is mainly open air, but below ground level. Much of it is adjacent and under the hospital buildings at ground floor level above. As it stands, you can choose to park quite literally adjacent to the main hospital entrance, and then you have to walk in the opposite direction a good 50/100m to the pedestrian exit steps and lifts which take you into the street for you to walk back round to the entrance. It is no burden for a fit person, but perhaps somebody should have considered it might be an issue in a hospital.

I mean who in their right mind would say, no, let’s put the lifts way away from the hospital so that users will end up back out in the street a long way from the hospital entrance?

More to the point, are these worst-lift-location-planners- conceivable the same people that now want to spend 100,000€ rectifying their mistake? If so, why are they being allowed anywhere near a budget? Surely bottle washing in the bed pan sluice room is more in line with their capabilities.

These are presumably the same planners that said, rather than use some of that huge car park space, that huge and generally empty space, to build a safe vehicle entry and exit to the car park, they would make one that has an alpine incline that leaves drivers exiting completely blind as to what they are driving into, and drivers entering the car park the prospect of being stranded straddling the pavement  or even into a very busy road if the driver ahead of them has any sort of issue with the ticket machine, a machine that they bafflingly locate half way up the alpine incline.

My concerns that the lunatics are still running the asylum is based to some extent on the requirement that this new lift can accommodate a stretcher. I know people who use car seats for their children, I know people who have  wheelchairs in their cars for disabled relatives and for themselves, but I don’t know anybody who has their car adapted for the use of stretchers. Perhaps the lack of car-stretcher conversion kits at Halfords is down to the fact that there is already a fleet of special vehicles equipped for this purpose, they are called ambulances.  Ambulances use stretchers, but they do not use the car park—it is generally accepted in hospital circles that they deserve some priority parking allocations.

But even if there is one special person out there who has adapted their Volvo estate to transport aged aunt Maggie to the hospital on her stretcher, does she really deserve a 100,000€ budget to avoid the risk of getting wet?

Is there really nothing more important in the budgetary priorities of the provision of medical and healthcare services to the citizens of Ibiza than avoiding patients getting wet?

And of course there is no information on how they intend to keep people dry who attend the hospital on busses or by foot, so are we to assume they do not matter as much? That a patient’s entitlement to a ’wet free’ visit to the hospital is based upon their being affluent enough to have access to a motor vehicle?

Or perhaps it is irrelevant as no pedestrians have ever made it as far as the hospital because they have all been killed by the cars lurching out of the near vertical car park ramps directly onto the pavement with the driver completely blind as to what they are driving into.

Of course I am writing this in some small part for an intended entertainment purpose, hoping that a reader or two will see some humour and not just an incoherent rant. But putting that aside, this is one of those situations that we, the public, seem to see so often in public administration finances. Those charged with the responsibility to spend our tax income wisely seeming to live in some fantasy world throwing cash about like a nightclub owner who has just been tipped off the Hacienda are on their way.

Don’t spend our 100.000€ on a dry lift. If we really need a dry lift please buy it by taking money from the idiots who didn’t put it where it should be in the first place.

Spend our 100,000€, for example, catching up on what I was told last week is a 6 month current wait for MRI scans. There is a clinic on Avenue España that provides private scans for a for hundred euros a pop. You could wipe out the waiting list with that 100,000€, and probably save a couple of lives in the process, surely more important than saving somebody from getting mildly moist now and again.

Utter nonsense.

At Night

  • 2017 Line Ups

“Whether there is ever a point in the Ibiza calendar when all Club line ups can be considered 100% fixed is unlikely, but our guide to the 2017 season is probably as close to it as you are ever going to get.

As far as possible we have included full details of all either/or parties, by which we mean those where the regular event may be changed for a few weeks in the season.  If it says ‘and’ they are both on the same line up, if it says ‘or’ there are substitute weeks, or in some cases rotation.

We had a look at including pricing on the planner, but there are so many variants we’d have needed a four page pull out to come close. One thing we did notice was an increase in the option to buy ’discount’ drinks included. But where this is available you shouldn’t get too excited. You will be getting your Vodka Mixer for 18€ instead of 22€, so you’ll need to buy a good few to get anywhere near a free drink.

Some people may be surprised at the amount of holes in the schedule—it brings it into sharp focus when you see it all side by side. But then again a few years ago this planner would have been just 7 columns wide, competition takes its toll.

Space cadets will want to know that HÏ’s Theatre,  is what was the Discoteca, and Club is what was the Terrace. But then they are going for a completely new concept anyway so probably best to get those comparisons out of your head as soon as possible. It has to be thought of as a new club, not Space reinvented, and anyone hanging around the toilets comparing it to ‘the old days’ is likely to be a proper bore of a bloke.

We’re first to admit that the average age in the Ibizan office doesn’t give us the best credentials to advise on the uber cool up and comings, but of all the familiar and time served parties Defected’s move to Eden has raised a lot of eyebrows among the 30 somethings. It feels like a great fit and is a big part of the buzz about the place this year.

Talking of good fits, La Troya at Heart seems like a match made in Heaven and I can’t think of anywhere better than Sankey’s to be off your face on Acid.

As far as the clubber’s clubbers Ibiza holidays go, you’d think a visit to HÏ would be the ‘must do’ of the year., and for those that consider themselves elevated from the clubber’s clubbers, Pikes will probably carry the flag.

Despite Carl Cox’s orgasmic 2016, we’re sure everybody will be ready to go again for his 2 dates at Privilege, and at least at Privilege it can be everybody.

But for sheer people power, forgetting cool and just working on the number of people with huge smiles on their faces doing what they want Ibiza 2017 to be all about, our money is on the Ibiza Rocks pool parties.  And Ocean of course. Daytime dance shows no sign of letting up. and it is not down to us to say anybody is wrong for coming here and enjoying what they want to enjoy.

But at the end of the day there is surely something for everyone and every taste. If you can’t find something below that makes you want to shuffle about the place, you are probably a rocker, and even if you are there is no need to fret. It might not be included in this clubbing line up, but diversity is the name of our game, and we’ve plenty to offer you too.

We hope you have a great season.

Nick Gibbs



Amanda Zips It Up

? Amanda O’Riordan

Greetings everyone. Let’s officially welcome summer (in my mind set anyway). I have just returned from Mallorca and Ibiza, where temperatures were already nudging 25 degrees.

In the coming months, I’ll be bringing you all the hottest summer fashion to be seen in, from London, Ibiza and Mallorca.

Of course, it might be too soon to be thinking about actually lying by the pool, but you can certainly start planning what you’ll be wearing poolside. So perfect timing for us to look at Balearic beach fashion, summer sandals and there probably isn’t any perfect time to look at the most hideous underwear ever seen (but we’ve done so anyway).


Amanda x

Read Amanda’s fashion blog


Balearic Beachwear

It’s official, summer is coming, and it goes without saying, mine will be a Balearic one, with numerous trips to the white isle and scenic Mallorca in store.

Whether you spend your holiday by the pool or sea, swimwear is probably the most important item you will pack, apart from your phone charger of course.

And luxury swimwear has most definitely become a ‘thing’.

If you’re looking for swimwear providing that iconic ‘Balearic’ vibe then here is probably the best designer collection I have discovered in 2017.

Balearic Beach specialise in luxury swimwear that is guaranteed to make you look Hot.

When it’s 30 plus degrees, you want to wear as little as possible, yet for some of us more body-conscious folk, long periods of total exposure to the sun is not always top of the agenda.  So, as well as beautiful bikinis, Balearic Beach’s collection also includes beach dresses, which can quickly transform your look. These will go down particularly well with those of us who like to potter about a bit, before settling down beside the pool or sea.

Fashions change like the weather and Balearic Beach have maintained a very close eye on what’s hot and what’s not.  Strictly ‘in vogue’ beachwear.

Whether you prefer a block colour or a more flamboyant mixture of colourful bikinis, make sure you check out the full range of show-stoppers that will look perfect on Salinas Beach or swanning around Nikki Beach, Calvia.


The Sell out Sandals

I know it’s only the beginning of April, but I always assume that once we hit the Easter holidays, it’s time to start thinking about sandals and pedicures.

And this year, it’s all about pearls. Miu Miu set the pearls rolling with their pearl sandals at all the SS16 shows, followed by Gucci and Emilio Pucci.

Naturally, the high street has followed the fashion trend, and released their own slip on and strappy versions at a fraction of the price. £700 less than Miu Miu’s pair, in fact. We’re talking £19,99 at H&M and £38 at River Island.

On my list is this strappy red pair by Charles & Keith at £39, but the whole point of the look is to wear them as like slippers, so find a slip on pair if you’re brave enough. Just don’t run for the bus in them.

Floaty frocks are everywhere this season, so pair them up or wear with a pleated skirt and ruffle shirt.

The ultimate combo is of course carrying a straw basket, as seen on Alexa Chung recently.

For more formal occasions, like the upcoming wedding season, they’re just as fancy as heels but way less painful.

Absolutely pearlfect.

Camel Toe Underwear

For me, underwear should either be comfy and there to support you, or simply sexy.

And there is a colossal amount of choice out there. From the barely there G-strings to bum lifting pants, there’s certainly no shortage of weird and wonderful underwear for the adventurous female. But the recent popularity of camel toe knickers might just be the most out-there trend yet.

Underwear that covers up a camel toe has been on sale in this country for years, but this new lingerie, which is popular in Japan, does the opposite and accentuates. It has recently made its way to the UK for the first time and can be purchased from Amazon (of course) in a variety of different skin tones for just £28.

It’s thought that the growing popularity of the ridiculous lingerie coincides with the rise of so-called ‘designer vagina’ procedures, which have increased massively in recent years, according to figures from the NHS. In 2015 100,000 patients worldwide underwent the designer vagina procedures. A further 50,000 had vaginal rejuvenation – the tightening of the canal.

If you want to lift and separate your intimate lips, surgery can cost anywhere from £500 to £4,000 and comes with side effects and recovery time, whereas camel toe underwear is a much cheaper solution for women who feel self conscious about their intimate appearance..

Camel toe underwear does show through tight leggings but the effect is reasonably subtle. They’re just large knickers like you would wear tummy tuck pants, like a strong Lycra.

The underwear is made from a typical cotton lycra brief with a silicone appendage and has reportedly been popular in Japan for a decade.

According to the product description: ‘Similar to a good bra, these quirky panties promise to “lift and separate”.

Electro Reiki Ibiza

While I was in Ibiza recently, I had an amazing treatment called Electro Reiki Ibiza. It has been available on the island for just over a year and during that time, my friend Gemma has managed to cure a 21 year-old shell fish allergy, headaches eased instantly, hormones re- balanced, anxiety relieved, plus so much more.  This ground breaking and unique way of healing packs a mean punch in the direction of any ailment, pain, migraine or emotional problem.

So What Is It?

  • The Pain Genie

The Pain Genie is a hand held device that stimulates the body’s immune system via nerve-like impulses in a bio-feedback dialogue with the brain and central nervous system.

  • The Pure Essential Oils

These oils have the chemical composition and aroma to provide valuable psychological and physical therapeutic benefits. These are achieved through methods including inhalation and application of the diluted oil to the skin.

  • Healing Blanket

The Healing Blanket has benefited from extensive research conducted by the Russian Space Program. This unique blanket contains reflective metallic material similar to that used in the lining of the astronaut suits for protection against potentially harmful electromagnetic fields.

Thoroughly recommended if you’re stressed on the white isle this summer!




Wedding Bells

Our warmest congratulations to Mr & Mrs Dikomite on their marriage in San Antonio last weekend.

The happy couple, known to many as Tony and Becky, owners of Tapas Restaurant & Lounge Bar,  returned from Honeymoon to find they had won the ‘taste of Pintxas’ award and been shortlisted as one of the finalists for the coveted overall winner of the annual food festival.

We are not suggesting one thing compares to the other, but still, not a bad week by any standards.

Marvellous Margaret

A round of applause to Margaret Nawaz who raised a whopping 5,100€ at the annual Easter fair. A fantastic amount for any fundraising event, but when a large part of it is based on the sales of jam, chutney and homemade cakes, we don’t know how she does it. A superb effort. Margaret conveyed her thanks to all the volunteers who worked so hard with the stalls and the people who went along on the day.

It’s Good To Talk

  • Kate Stillman

I have a 17-year-old son, he has always been difficult but over the last 2 years, it has gone to another level. He trashes his room on a regular basis, he doesn’t communicate with anyone except for his friends and that is mostly done on line. He stays in his room for hours on end, he looks awful, his personal hygiene is bad and the impact he is having on the rest of the family is huge.

We find it nearly impossible to have anyone over to the house in case he is having an “episode” which can range from verbal abuse to physically smashing up things; he currently has no bed, no desk and no wardrobe because he has smashed them all. There seems to be a rage inside that he either can’t or won’t control and the episodes are becoming more and more frequent. I am withdrawing all the time from my social circle because I can’t bear to explain what is going on and I feel like such a failure as a mother. I have tried teachers, social workers, and even on occasion called the police but nothing seems to help.

I am wondering if you have any suggestions that might give me some hope of restoring our family to a better place.

Thank you, SE

Dear SE,

Thank you for your letter, it takes courage to speak out about family situations and asking for help is the first step. I am sorry you are having such a difficult time but you sound as if you are strong and able to do what is right for your family and your son.

Firstly, I am not in a position to diagnose what may or may not be the issue with your son, there is a whole spectrum of behaviour and it is important to establish where he falls on that spectrum so that he can get the support and care he needs, which in turn will help the family as a whole. I have no idea what your situation is in Ibiza as regards access to health care but my suggestion is that you see a psychiatrist and ask for a full psychiatric evaluation. I understand that may seem extreme but what is does is enable you to understand what is going on for your son and if it is general adolescent disturbances or possibly something more serious that needs to be addressed by healthcare professionals.

In the meantime, it is important that you look after yourself, give yourself breaks and time to unwind even if it’s a short walk or a quick coffee with some of the friends you haven’t seen for a while. Remember you are important and you matter so you have to take care of yourself to be able to look after others.

If you would like suggestions, of who to see either here in Ibiza or in London then please do not hesitate to contact me directly.

Take care and I wish you all the best,


N.B Our CONFIDENTIAL & FREE support group takes place every Tuesday in San Lorenzo please email



  • 28th April 2017—4th May 2017

ARIES – The Chariot

Travel plans make for a fun week as you are ready for a big new adventure.  There’s nothing more exciting for an Aries than to be somewhere new; possibly with someone new!  The universe has big plans for you, so just go with the flow. Business-wise you are streets ahead of the competition; in fact, what competition? So relax.

TAURUS – Ten of Cups       

This lovely card brings a sense of wellbeing and lasting happiness, of peace and stability.  You could be introducing a special someone to your family or social group; feel more serious about commitment these days.  For some, this card will mean a celebration within the family, a birth or marriage.  It’s an upbeat week with plenty of affection around!

GEMINI – Eight of Cups

Emotionally, you may feel you’re not on the same page with someone special in your life.  Perhaps you should take time out so you can reflect on what you want emotionally?  A partner, lover or a family member is disappointing you in some way.  By all means mull over your doubts, however there’s no need to take action just yet.

CANCER – The Three of Wands

You’re planning to escape from the daily grind.  What do you want to do? Where do you want to go?  The world is your oyster and it’s OK to think big and follow your dreams; they might just come true.  Leave pessimism behind and put your optimistic party pants on!  You need to have a goal so work towards it.

LEO – Page of Pentacles (reversed)

Time to take things easy and not get caught up in others peoples dramas.  This card reversed also advises you not to start a new venture which involves you splashing out cash.  It could be a wasted investment so think wisely this week before you commit to anything. For Leo parents, your children’s concerns will be uppermost in your mind.

VIRGO – Ten of Wands

If you’ve taken on too much recently and you have to delegate more responsibility to partners, colleagues or family for now.  All this running around like a headless chicken is exhausting and you’ll begin to feel like a failure.  You’re generally a caring sign and are the first to help and give advice to others. This week, heed your own.

LIBRA – The Devil

Be careful to whom you indulge your innermost secrets too this week.  Issues of trust will raise its ugly head again and you will have to nail this situation quickly and for once and for all decisively.  Be careful that you do not leave yourself exposed to others accusations however, as they will not see you as whiter than white.

SCORPIO – Transformation

You’ve indicated for some time, for change to occur in life and are therefore willing to make a fresh start; one that may require you to kick old habits or sever certain associations.  Well, this is the week to do just that!  Maybe sign up for a fitness programme or a course that enables you to begin this transformation cycle.

SAGITTARIUS – Queen of Swords (reversed)

For a woman; she stands for a woman you shouldn’t trust so look over your shoulder this week.  She’s definitely not to be trusted around your man and can also be the sort that undermines you front of others. For a man; she’ll lead you off the straight and narrow, with no thought of who she hurts in the process!

CAPRICORN – Queen of Pentacles

Ladies, you’ll be single-minded about getting your way and Capricorn men won’t be uncomfortable at losing their cool if anyone stands between them and a desired goal.  This is a card of wisdom and steadfastness and if you’re determined and have done your research well, you will succeed!  Financial stability or accountability is at the root most issues this week.

AQUARIUS – The Tower (reversed)

Whoosh! We’re heading out of the Mercury retrograde and life will return to normal, that’s if you call anything about being an Aquarian normal!  The good news; the worst is behind you.  For those that have had serious issues to deal with, you’re able to regain your poise and the confidence that life is offering much to look forward to.

PISCES – The Wheel of Fortune

We feel that we’re in the hands of fate when the unexpected disrupts life.  This card brings good fortune when the right way up; as in this case.  Chance meetings with people who can hugely influence your direction in life are likely.  You have free will to carry on as normal, but you’d be wise to take a few risks.

Business Feature

Fusion Satellite, Reaching The Parts Others Can’t.

  • Nick Gibbs

There used to be a famous advert about a product reaching the parts others couldn’t. I’m sure I’ll remember what it is later and have to change this intro, but for now it escapes me.

Were it not for my clearly failing memory, I would have used that classic advertising strap line in a metaphor as to how it would so perfectly fit Fusion Satellite, an Ibizan company that have made a business out of reaching those others couldn’t.

Despite some of Ibiza now revelling in 300mb fibre optic, most of the island is still little further on than the beeps and whistles of dial up modem access, if it has any fixed line access at all.

  • Internet

For many years now Fusion have been offering a satellite based internet service that has taken useable internet to the masses, and at 22mb download speeds it is more than capable of streaming video – the most bandwidth hungry use most of us will ever need.

2017 has seen Fusion launch a 4g internet service, which has several  key differences to the Satellite service and will be a popular choice for many situations.

4g is absolute simplicity to install. Without the need for rooftop aerials and cabling users can avoid the cost and sometime practical hurdles of installing a satellite system, not to mention unco-operative landlords – a big bonus for many in apartment blocks.

Plus 4g is available short term – service can be taken for anything from a month upwards, so bound to be very popular among summer season workers, and summer villa letting owners and agents.

Available at up to 70mb the service will be fast enough for all but the heaviest commercial users (or families with 10+ teenagers), and though it uses the same 4g network as mobile phones, it does not rely on you being able to get 4g on your phone where it is to be installed. The wifi modem used by the system has a much stronger receiver than that you will find in a phone.

  • Television & More

Fusion are not all about internet to areas and properties that cannot get access to fast fixed line services however.

Fusion’s services extend to include Satellite Television, both Freeview and Sky, plus a whole plethora of cool gadgets and access facilities aimed to squeeze the best out of whatever internet you are getting, and avoid the restrictions placed upon internet and television for users outside of the UK who would prefer their digital world to work as if it were in the UK.

Here we take a look at several of their key services and products, the pros and cons of each, and some guidance on pricing. If you cannot find what you need, or simply can’t make head nor tail of the tech and are one of those people who want to know no more than it is working, you should contact owner Paul Crutwell directly. Aside from those times he is bowling for Ibiza Cricket Club (and probably during if it is a big job), he will be pleased to talk your options through.

4G Internet

Speed:  Up To 70mb Download & 10mb Upload

Cost: €59.99 Per Month

Limit: 120GB Data Per Month

Installation/Set Up Costs: 4g Lte Router With Sim €199.99

Contract: 1 Month & Upwards

Demo/Test:  Available On Request

Requirements: Requires a 4g signal – but as previously stated just because you can’t get 4g on your phone doesn’t mean it won’t work. It has a much stronger receiver and so can obtain a 4g signal in situations your phone can’t.

Idiot’s Guide: It looks and works  just like any other wi-fi router, it just doesn’t have a cable in the ‘in’ socket.  It works like a super powerful mobile phone, using the same network as your phone but with a much stronger receiver. Once set up, you can connect your computers, laptops, sky tv, etc to it by ethernet cable or wi-fi,  along with your tablets and mobile phones, just like any regular home wi-fi network.

Pros: Absolute simplicity of install and flexibility of contract. Plus you can even take it with you to the beach (the beach bar at least), the local café or anywhere else you have access to mains power and a 4g signal. You won’t need landlord or building permission.

Cons: 120GB Data limit. It sounds a lot, and for many people will be plenty, but remember that if you use online TV streaming services such as sky box sets or Netflix, those gigabites can soon get gobbled up.

Tooway Internet

Speed:  Options from 10mb to 30mb download, 6mb Upload

Cost: Options from 37€ per month to 95€ per month.

Limit: Options from 20GB Per Month to 80GB per month, plus unlimited use from midnight to 6am.

Installation/Set Up Costs: Satellite receiver and modem from free to 129€ according to tariff, installation of cabling etc. by quotation.

Contract: 12 months or 24 months

Demo/Test:  Not applicable

Requirements: Line of sight. In practice, if you have access to your roof and it is not overshadowed by adjoining buildings, you will probably be OK. If you have to rely on fixing to the side of a building or have other obstacles, you will need to ask Fusion for a visit to test your property.

Idiot’s Guide: It looks and works  just like any other wi-fi router, but instead of a cable coming in from the street, you have one leading to a satellite dish on the outside of your property. We say dish, but it is a fraction of the size of a Sky dish, quite unobtrusive. Once set up, you can connect your computers, laptops, sky tv, etc to it by ethernet cable or wi-fi,  along with your tablets and mobile phones, just like any regular home wi-fi network.

Pros: UK IP Address. The tooway system is UK by default, meaning all UK services like BBC player and the simple joy of a Google UK homepage are open to you without further cost. Flexibility of tariffs. With options from just 37€ per month, Fusion tooway is one of the cheapest internet options around. Those with heavier needs can go through a series of 4 tariffs up to the top service at 95€. Though the monthly allowance is relatively low, from 20gb to 80gb, that is perfectly sufficient for day to day browsing. Fusion’s inclusion of unlimited from midnight to 6am means that the movie fan or box set addict should be able to sate their desires with some schedule planning.

Cons: The contract terms. I will describe it thus, we have used Fusion’s tooway in the office for some years and have never run into bandwidth or allowance problems, but I know several users who have. To avoid finding your internet under a clampdown and restrictions that will slow you to a frustrating snail’s pace, any tooway client needs to read the contract, and understand the contract. It is a very long contract, and I would say overly complicated. There are restrictions on what you can do and when you can do it, there are also overriding service issues that can affect your usage even if you have followed the rules, but these are rarely brought into play. What you can’t do is sign up for the 20gb option and start downloading series 1-9 of the wire at peak time in the evening.  That isn’t so unreasonable is it? You can’t go to MacDonalds and order a cheeseburger, pay for a cheeseburger, and when you have finished the cheeseburger go back to the counter and ask for a free Big Mac because you were hungrier than you thought. Unfortunately with the tooway company (nothing to do with Ibiza’s Fusion and Paul Crutwell), it sometimes feels like half way through eating the cheeseburger you have paid for they grab it out of your hands and throw you out of the restaurant because you weren’t aware of their new policy on the time you were allowed to eat your cheeseburger. But then again, if it were Movistar you would have to queue for 2 hours to get your cheeseburger and when you finally got to the front of the queue they would tell you cheeseburgers were no longer available at that location, and give you a helpline to call that would tell you cheeseburgers didn’t exist; so it’s all relative. We still use tooway in the office, totally happy with it in comparison to what else is available, but I can’t stress enough, read the contract.

Tariffs: All have unlimited use midnight to 6am.

10mb download speed, 20gb monthly quota, 37€

15mb download speed, 30gb monthly quota, 54€

22mb download speed, 40gb monthly quota, 78€

22/30mb download speed, 80gb monthly quota, 95€

UK VPN Router

Speed:  n/a

Cost: 10€ per month

Limit: n/a

Installation/Set Up Costs: 60€ supplied and fitted (NOTE: the UK VPN Router is included free of charge if you take Fusion’s Now TV service – see below)

Contract: none stated

Demo/Test:  n/a

Requirements: Existing home internet connection

Idiot’s Guide: The UK VPN Router will typically sit alongside your normal home internet router. You connect your computers, sky tv, mobile phones, tablets etc to it as you would any other router, then it is connected to your regular router. It then ‘tricks’ the internet into thinking you are based in the U.K., so all of the websites and services restricted to internet users outside of the U.K. become available to you again.

Pros: A much more robust solution than the web/browser based vpn services, and one that works for every device in the home, not just the computer you are running it on. At 10€ a month it is little, if any, more than you would have to pay for a web based service (and the free web ones are rubbish, and often expose your computer to considerable threats and knock on problems).

Cons: A slight slow down in your internet speed. The need to keep an eye on your bandwidth if you start using catch up and download tv and films.

Note: You do not need to pay this 10€ a month is you have tooway satellite, as that is UK based by default.

Home Cache

Speed:  faster internet for cached files

Cost: free first year, then £30 per year

Limit: claims reduction in data usage of 30 and 70%

Installation/Set Up Costs: £150+vat

Contract: annual

Demo/Test:  n/a

Requirements: existing internet connection

Idiot’s Guide: This is a new one to me, an interesting idea that could be a great benefit to those with slow networks and restricted data allowances. The network cache takes the form of a small box connected to your internet router. In effect it saves whatever you access on the internet, then if you access that same data again, rather than serve it from the internet it serves you the stored version instead. By serving the local saved version it will be much faster than connecting to the web, and also in avoiding the need to download from the net again, it will not use more of your allowed internet tariff allowance. It claims a typical saving of 30-70%.

Pros: If you have an allowance of 20gb, the claimed savings will effectively increase your 20gb to between 26gb and 34gb for just £2.50 a month once the unit is paid for. A lot less than the cost of increasing your internet service.

Cons: Will it do what it says on the tin? There is no doubt that you re-access a considerable amount on the internet – the reason your browser uses a cache to help speed things along. Whether or not you will benefit will depend on your own internet usage.

Now TV Box

Cost: No fixed cost, Pay as you go subscriptions

Installation/Set Up Costs: €60 (including free UK VPN Router if required – see above)

Contract: None (If UK VPN Router is required the cost is 10€ per month)

Requirements: Existing internet connection. UK based internet connection.

Idiot’s Guide: The Now TV box is a device that turns your TV into a smart TV. When coupled with Fusion’s UK VPN Router or their UK based Tooway Satellite Internet, it will enable a range of features on your TV including popular free services such as BBC iPlayer, Youtube etc. There are also pay as you go versions of Sky television packages.

Pros: Unlike the recently popular IPTV services, it is totally legal. Whether that is important to you when you are already watching a sky tv system set up via a dummy UK account, and using a UK VPN that tricks the internet into thinking you are somewhere else, is a question for your own moral compass. If you are watching a pre-smart TV, the now box is a far cheaper option than upgrading the telly. Another benefit that will be very popular to occasional or limited scope Sports fans, is Sky’s £6.99 sports day pass, allowing 24 hour access. Take Formula One as an example. There are around 10 races a year that are not televised live on free terrestrial television.  Total cost using day pass is £70. If F1 is your only sport, the same paid subscription with Sky TV would cost you £264 per year. Note you can buy the NOW TV passes on your laptop, but watching a sports event big enough to pay for huddled around a tiny screen is not really satisfactory.

Cons: You’ll need sufficient internet speed and data allowance to take advantage of the full range of services. Overlap – you might already have access to most of what it can do on your other services.

Sky Television

Cost: From £21.50 per month for the entertainment pack. + 16€ per month for optional movies, plus 22€ per month for optional sports. Plus annual hosting and maintenance fees – price on request

Installation/Set Up Costs: from 299€ including dish, installation and set top box

Contract: hosting and maintenance fees are charged anually, sky package is charged monthly

Requirements: Ability to install satellite dish on your property

Idiot’s Guide: A management company host your ‘ghost’ account in the UK. You pay them an annual fee for doing so, other than that you pay and use Sky pretty well as you would in the UK, though it has to be on a Visa or Mastercard.

Pros: It is Sky, good old comfortable and familiar Sky. Regular viewing of live TV and recorded TV does not count towards your internet allowance.

Cons: Full use of all facilities, especially box set and catch up downloads, requires sufficient internet data allowance.  A single 1080 HD movie will be between 2 and 3 gb, so it can soon add up. Also local services. Your local news etc will be based upon whichever region your ghost account is based in, probably the North West. You can access the other BBC and ITV local channels, but those showing under BBC1 and ITV on your menu will be wherever the account is. A minor frustration.

Freesat TV

Cost: Free – no ongoing costs

Installation/Set Up Costs: from 299€ including dish, installation and set top box

Contract: None

Requirements: Ability to install satellite dish on your property

Idiot’s Guide: It is a cut down version of sky, but without the bills.

Pros: Once installed, it’s free.

Cons: Limited channels. Though looking at the list on Fusion’s website, not as limited as you might think.

Other Services

The list goes on and on. These are some of Fusion’s additional services…

Home Wifi Boosting – whichever internet you use, Fusion can boost your signal so that internet is available in all rooms and even the garden.

CCTV – security systems installed, quotations on request

Sports Viewing Cards – popular with the bars, the ‘magic’ cards that unlock worldwide sports channels

Equipment – for those of a diy persuasion, Fusion sell all satellite equipment on a supply only basis.

Live broadcasts – helping the likes of the BBC, Ibiza Rocks, Space and all manner of media folk with their live broadcast from Ibiza.

More Information

For more information on these or any of the detailed services please contact Paul Crutwell, see advert below.

Now, what was that advert, still hasn’t come to me, I think it might have been a brand of beer? Or was it a detergent?



  • 8/04/17 30 overs each – Result:  County Clare (120/3) beat Ibiza (119 all out) by 7 wickets
  • Robin Parmenter

New Ibiza Skipper Sam Gooda decided to bat first and began steadily with fellow opener Martin Cooper (22), putting on 35 for the first wicket. But then Ibiza lost several batsmen quickly, with the Skipper going for 21, and only newcomer Andy Holmes (26) stayed firm, and when he departed the hosts were on a precarious 83/6 off 21 overs. It was left to Paul Cruttwell (19) and Mike Amos (14) to get to a reasonable but under par total of 119 all out. The visitors’ bowlers were accurate and made run scoring difficult, none more so than their slow bowler Ranjit Singh with an impressive 5/27, supported by Carl Ashley (2/7) and Rajan Singh (1/8) and they held 3 good catches.

The visitors then batted and were helped somewhat by some wayward bowling from Ibiza, their Captain Tariq Ahmed scoring an aggressive 35, followed by similar innings of 37 not out from Rajan Singh and 32 not out by Rajinder Singh (not the same family!). This allowed them to score at 10 runs an over and reach their target in 12 overs, winning impressively by 7 wickets, and totally outplaying an Ibiza side that was rusty from the 5 month winter lay off.

9/04/17 30 overs each – Result: Ibiza 33/3 beat County Clare (29 all out) by 7 wickets

Ibiza were understandably put out by their loss the day before and wanted to be more competitive, but did not expect such a reversal of fortune! Thus, reinforced by their returning opening bowler Jim Harvey, the outcome was totally the opposite, and only 2 bowlers were actually needed! Perhaps the visitors’ late nights had caught up with them, but both Jim Harvey, with an impressive 6/18, and Paul Cruttwell (4/11) skittled them for an underwhelming 29 all out, helped by Ibiza pulling off 3 important catches to dismiss County Clare’s best batsmen cheaply. Only Rajinder Singh (15) reached double figures, and at one stage, they were on 12/6!

The hosts were obviously relaxed about reaching their target, and so much so that they still managed to lose 3 wickets in chasing it, the visitors’ slow bowler Ranjit Singh once again bamboozling the opposition and claiming 3 quick wickets.

Thus 2 bizarre days of cricket began Ibiza’s 2017 season, with only 12 overs needed by the visitors to chase on the first day, and then under 6 overs for the hosts to do the same the next day. Definitely a new experience for Ibiza CC!

Thanks must go to County Clare’s Captain Tariq Ahmed for bringing his friendly and disparate group of cricketers back to Ibiza, after several years of absence, and we look forward to seeing them back again soon.


Was it all just an Illusion?

  • Jack Wharrie

April saw the conclusion of what has been another great season for the Ibizan Pool League and the crowning of new champions in Illusions Pool Cafe. The Illusions team won an impressive tally of 19 of their 20 matches, taking on ten other teams on their debut in the sixth season of the competition.

Based in Ibiza Town the Illusions team was formed by members: Manuel Rubio; Tomás Sanchez; Óscar Mari; Sergio Correa; David Sala; Tomás Megias; Gabriele Crovetto and Francisco Rolando. They finished the season with 58 points, beating out close rivals The Ship and Boulevard Spaniards who finished the season 2nd and 3rd with 53 and 47 points respectively. Tomás Sanchez also gained the accolade for best player in the season earning victories in 18 out of 18 singles games.

Thursday also saw the final of the second iteration of the Dave Spurway Memorial Cup. A hard-fought match between finalists Danny Graham and Gary Beech ended 5-2 in favour of the former, meaning a second successive triumph for a player from the Boulevard Spaniards. The Cup also raised 300 Euros for the charity Samaritans in Spain as each entry from the 30 participants was donated. After the match the trophies were presented to Illusions, Tomás Sanchez and Danny Graham for their accomplishments along with a finalist medal to Gary Beech, semi-finalist medals to Roberto Campoli and Jose Antonio Torres Real, and a silver medal to David Sala and a bronze medal to Jason Martensz for placing 2nd and 3rd in the best player rankings respectively.