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The Ibizan 820 17 Mar 16
The Ibizan 820 17 Mar 16

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The Ibizan 820 ~ 17 Mar 16


Lá Fhéile Pádraig Sona Duit

“Happy St Patrick’s Day”. With our publication day falling on St Patrick’s Day we felt it only right and proper  to take a break from the natural splendour of Ibiza for  the beauty of Ireland



Frauding Of The 5,000

  • Cadastre uncovers 5,000 urban illegalities in Sant Antoni and Sant Josep

The cadastral (think land registry) regularization process initiated in 2013 by the Ministry of Finance has discovered a total of over 3,000 illegal property alterations, extensions and developments in Sant Josep, and just under 2,000 in San Antonio. Data for Santa Eulària, Ibiza Town, Formentera and Sant Joan is not yet available.

The review is based upon the registered rateable value and aims to ensure that “the description of the property is consistent with reality, that the buildings (homes, additions, pools, irrigation ponds and reforms, rehabilitations or change of use of buildings) that exist in each municipality are registered in their respective municipalities and with the Land Registry.”

In November 2014 the Ministry of Finance stated that “If the cadastral holder has not declared the extent and use of their property, or has done so incompletely, it is considered a fraud that the state has an obligation to combat”.

The Diario de Ibiza this week stated it was “unsurprising” that the regularization process would reveal a high level of infractions.  They reported statistics based on a copy of the Cadastre data issued to the municipalities, which had been collected for the first time using aerial drone photography.

In Sant Josep there were found to be a total of 874 unlicensed swimming pools, 701 unauthorised additional buildings (e.g. garages, guest houses etc), and no less than 642 buildings on land with no permission for building whatsoever.

Jose Cardona Cardona, Councillor for Finance, explained that the revision of the Cadastre in Sant Josep was carried out in 2014. The Council contacted those property owners where discrepancies were found. Thereafter followed a process where increased rateable values were proposed with owners having a right of appeal. Cardona said “The process is finished and the resolutions are firm.”

  • 6% of assessed value

As a result of the process the City Council has calculated that the review increases the assessed value of the municipality by a staggering 11.61%, which translates to 254,117,441 euros, taking the total rateable value of the municipality to 2.21 billion euros.

Given that Sant Josep currently charges a rate of 0.4% Property Tax (IBI), “the legal minimum”, says Cardona, it equates to an increase of just over 1 million euros in revenue, or to consider it another way 1 million euros in lost revenue for the years the properties had been undervalued.

The additional million cannot be considered a windfall by the municipality however. 2016 is the first year they will not receive the ‘anti-crisis surcharge’ of 1% applied by the Ministry of Finance for 50% of the most expensive properties in each municipality, which equated to roughly the same amount as they will now get in increased rates. “The net result is that the accounts balance” said Councillor Cardona.

  • Worst in the Balearics.

Cardona acknowledged that the number of incidents detected by the cadastral survey is very high, and revealed that an official at the Land Registry, in a meeting held in the summer of last year, recognized “that they [Sant Josep] were the worst offenders throughout the Balearics” in the number of illegalities identified.

The councillor blamed the problem on the municipality’s heavy tourist load. In presenting the comparison that there were more illegal developments in San Jose than the whole of Menorca, he said “Yes, of course, but we are a town with more tourist load. We’ve had more buildings in these years than in Menorca, and for years past.”

  • The case of Sant Antoni

The Diario report also described data for Sant Antoni as “alarming”, however San Antonio was unable to provide detailed information due to those responsible currently taking vacation.

  • (also see editorial)

Ibiza Takes Centre Stage at the Berlin Tourism Fair

  • Spain’s tourist board, Turespaña, has selected Ibiza as its 2016 protagonist, the central focus of its tourism stand this year.

Ibiza has chosen to concentrate on the Las Dalias hippy market which is proving very popular amongst trade and public visitors to what is, one of Europe’s three largest trade fairs. Promotions have included a concert by Jon Michell, puppetry by Hugo Castejon, airbrush painting by Antonio Portillo and a jewellery workshop by Vernoique Petit. The Ibizan hippy market stand has also been flooding the ITB with flowered headbands creating a demand so big that from mid-morning long queues began to form to participate in being an Ibizan hippy for the day.

The chairman of Ibiza’s tourism office, Vicente Torres, agreed with Turespaña director Manuel Butler that Ibiza’s role as protagonist this year will go a long way to offset the 41,000 less German visitors to Ibiza in 2015 as reported in last week’s edition of the Ibizan.

Over the weekend promotions continue with tastings of oil, wine and Hierbas, and continuing the hippy theme a promotional distribution of bracelets denoting the goddess Tanit, and the works of the archaeological museum and the UNIESCO world heritage status.

Meanwhile President of Ibiza, Vicente Torres, who also heads the Island’s tourism department, has been meeting with travel agents, tour operators, airlines and media.

Worthy of particular mention among the many leading names in the travel and tourism sector were meetings with airlines Condor, Lufthansa and Air Germania, the later stating that it has studied the possibility of a direct Ibiza service during the winter of 2016/17 though a firm decision has not yet been taken.

Summarising the trade meetings, Vicente Torres stressed that the focus of Ibiza’s message has been the will of Ibiza to begin the season earlier, looking to March and April instead of the current May. “Of course we want to have more flights in winter, but above all we must try to start the season two months earlier” he said.  In general the President termed the fair “satisfactory” stating “the forecasts are positive because tour operators have increased their reservations by between 12-15%. What we must now do is turn the reservations into sales, and that is why we must redouble our efforts to promote the German market.

The next event in the calendar of international trade fairs will be the Seatrade Global cruise from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA. This is the world’s most important promotion for the cruise ship market and Ibiza will be represented with its own booth under the umbrella of the Balearic Islands

Taxi Issues Need ‘Spirit Insular’

The Consell of Ibiza has met with all municipalities with the aim of improving taxi services on the island. Led by Minister of Territory and Mobility, Pepa Mari, the meeting analysed the implementation of the proposed new licensing scheme and various other issues which are causing discontent around the island. The talks resulted in the Minister’s statement at the end of the meeting that it will take “(all municipalities) working together in a spirit insular (island spirit) to improve service throughout Ibiza.

Meanwhile the Ibiza Taxi Federation, FITIE, have called for strike action amongst their members for Semana Santa 23rd-28th March. They are angered by the authorities’ intention to issue more seasonal licenses and threaten strikes over the summer season if their views continue to be, what they consider as, disregarded in negotiations. FITIE president Alejandro Cardell has said that the issue of summer licenses has been dealt with “behind our backs” and that far from creating conflict his members have “always tried to reach consensus.”

Speaking of the strikes, the Minister asked the taxi drivers to “rethink their position because a strike is not the solution”. Pepa Mari continued to say that the authorities are continuing in “a fluent conversation with them to try to respond to the needs of the community and the whole of the public service.”

Airport Runway Renewal

Ibiza airport is currently undergoing a 5m€ budget runway replacement which commenced Monday 14th March and will continue until the scheduled completion date of April 22nd.

The works will be undertaken at night and are not expected to affect the volume of traffic as plans have been coordinated with the AECFA (Spanish association for the coordination and facilitation of flight slots) to accommodate the closure.

Closure during March should not be an issue as the airport is still in its winter 16 hour operation and works will be undertaken during the 8 hours when flights are not operating. Though the airport is 24hr from April, AENA are confident the rescheduling will avoid any disruption and that the runway will be fully operational before the start of the busiest months of the summer season.

The works will consist of removing the top layer of runway which will be replaced with a new ‘rough’ surface offering improved levels of friction for aeroplanes landing. We suggest that passengers arriving before the 22nd April do not dwell on the current ‘smooth’ surface and its effect on the planes friction with the runway.


HRH Unveils World’s Largest LED Screen

Hard Rock Hotel officially opened its giant LED screen on Friday, with their assurance that it would have a minimal light pollution impact. Covering 400 square metres, 2 million leds, and a cost of 5 million euros, it is the biggest led screen in the world.

The announcement caused considerable reaction. Whilst some supported the hotel giant’s investment to the island’s tourist trade, the majority of those commenting were opposed to the screen both in environment and aesthetic terms, and also questioning the morality of the 5 million euro cost.

  • (also see editorial)

Housing Rights Office Seeks Eviction Alternatives

The newly formed Ibiza housing rights office have held talks with representatives of banks specifically on the subject of avoiding eviction of families unable to meet mortgage payments that are now far higher than was envisaged when their loans were taken prior to the global economic crisis.

In attendance were representatives from Sa Nostra, Banco Popular, BBVA, Banco Sabadell and La Caixa. Also in attendance were representatives of the Platform of People affected by mortgages (PAH). The representatives of all banks in attendance said that they not currently pursuing any evictions in Ibiza and that their policy is to first look at restructuring debt to avoid the need for evictions. All banks agreed not to make any evictions without the involvement of the Council so that options including mediation could be fully explored.

At the end of the meeting Housing Minister, Viviana Sands, thanked those banks attending and stated her regret at those who had not supported the initiative – specifically naming Santandar and Bankia, and stating “as reported to us by the PAH, we know those two organisations to be conducting evictions in Ibiza”. Sands said she will invite those two banks to participate in the next meeting and that all banks need to “understand social responsibility in that they cannot make evictions without available alternative housing”.

Jesus Not To Be Resurrected at Easter

The Minister of Territory and Mobilty, Pepa Mari, has informed the residents of Jesus that their road access will not now be reopened to traffic until April. Although it was proposed that the access should be temporarily resurrected for the Easter holidays, in full consideration the technicians agreed it was better to keep the road closed and allow the project to move forward more quickly to ensure the work is completed before summer. The Minister stated their regret for the inconvenience and the effect it is having on residents and businesses in the area. He stated that the road works were taking far longer than expected due to various archaeological finds including burial remains from the Punic, Roman and Byzantine periods.

Formentera Cocaine Haul

Three bags containing a large haul of cocaine were found by a person walking on the Migjorn beach in Formentera on Tuesday.

The Guardia Civils judicial unit were called in to investigate and in an apparent shambles of communication the weight of the haul was changed from an initial report of 70kg, retracted before it hit press to 150kg, and then later to 84kg. Speculation that the weight of the haul tomorrow will be changed to 3 large pieces of Clingfilm and cocaine residue are considered unfounded.



Bad Relations…

The adage all publicity is good publicity is probably overused and certainly does not stand up to close scrutiny. But even those believing in such a philosophy would be surprised by some of Ibiza’s  public relations gaffs that seem to be coming in quick succession – and this on an island that you would expect to be masters of the PR art.

The Es Vedra goat’s fiasco was a masterclass in mismanagement. There are many environmentalists who feel strongly that the cull was necessary and correct however the manner in which it was undertaken and, in PR terms, more importantly the manner it was communicated to the public was so bad as to cause extreme emotions and even death threats to those responsible for implementing the policy.

Whilst the Guardia Civil may not have the same focus on public relations and their publically perceived image as that of politicians, the farcical handling of this week’s cocaine haul in Formentera was comical to a level it almost became counter-logic, in that such stupidity could not be the result of any attempted cover-up. More an episode of Frank Spencer than Machiavellian plot. The haul was initially announced to be 70kg but the first announcements published by press were at 150kg. This was later revised after the cocaine haul, which was found by a member of public on a Formentera beach, to 84kg. With longstanding folk law tales of corruption and the disappearance of seizures it is mind boggling that such a simple task of measurement could have been handled so badly.

Another surprising communication clanger has been made this week by Hard Rock Hotel in the unveiling of their 5million euro giant LED screen. The surprising aspect is that a company that must be considered among the A-list elite of branding market-eers, had paid little thought to any potential negative reaction.

Perhaps it is that we are approaching the end of the long winter and too many people with too much time on their hands, but the very vocal opposition to the screen on aesthetic, environmental and even moral grounds was  surely predictable and echoed with a similar reaction to Heineken’s now rejected intentions to plant a huge screen on the island for a private hospitality event.

… or Bad Neighbours?

All of these issues caused considerable outcry (or in the case of the cocaine seizure amusement) but perhaps we need to look to ourselves before we condemn others as being unjust and detrimental to island interests.

The Cadastral report has uncovered 5000 cases of properties in San Jose and San Antonio alone having undeclared development and therefore being undervalued for rating purposes. The Ministry of Finance has used the term fraud to define those who have not fully declared such development. The outcome of the Cadastral equates to 1million euros in IBI property tax (rates) per annum. That is 1 million euros in lost public revenue per year.

Whether we find the morality of a 5million euro spend on an LED screen acceptable or not, it is at least private money and few could argue with, or more to the point few reject the income from, the positive impact Hard Rock Hotel and their kin have had on maintaining the island’s tourist trade relied upon by so many of us.

 These rateable value ‘frauds’ are situations where, if the Ministry of Finance’s terminology is to be accepted, 3000 property owners in San Jose alone have been denying the public purse of 1 million euros in income year on year, for who knows how long.

I do not believe for one moment that many of those 3,000 would have seen themselves as committing fraud, and it is a drop in the ocean compared to the wider ‘black money/white money’ culture that has been endemic in Spain for so long. Nor would most of us consider somebody who had built an extension without permission in the same way we might a benefits cheat, but is it so different? Both are in effect cheating the state out of money at the expense of the general population.

In comparison to goats, led screens, and now mosques, I have seen nothing of outcry over this issue. Perhaps that is because we are all guilty, we all defraud the state when opportunity to do so presents itself, because that is ’the Spanish way’.

It is far easier to throw blame and criticism for our woes at faceless corporations or easy target politicians, but those in glass houses, whether they have planning permission or not, should not be throwing stones.



Food & Drink

Menu Mania

Tis’ the season to do menus with many of our favourite restaurants offering a menu del dia of superb food at incredibly good value.

Residents default sunset strip fine diner Mint are opening what feels very early this year and none of us will complain that before the summer madness we can take a great meal in a superb location basking in the spring sunshine. Open from Thursday 17th March. Mints 3 course menu costs 13.50€ and is available 12noon til 5pm.

Offering a different but certainly no less gorgeous outlook from their staged terrace, Villa Mercedes continue to defy logic with their fantastic daily menus for 15€. Those wishing to push the boat out slightly whilst watching the boats below can opt for the deluxe at 21€, but seriously, it is all good at either price. Our advice is just select what takes your fancy and you will still walk away with that great value feeling in your wallet and gourmet feeling in your stomach.

People watchers will love Bondi’s position on San Antonio’s fountain paseo but as well as double taking any gorgeous chicas and chicos strolling past, you will certainly double take their menu with a price tag of just 8.50€ for what we will describe as their ‘funky’ styled menu. It is not that we like that term particularly, in fact I do not like it at all, but it does kind of give you the right idea what Bondi is about. Fresh, delicious, modern, unfussy, well-cooked food in a contemporary but not in any way pretentious environment.

We will be publishing reviews in coming weeks, but don’t wait for us, grab the chance before you get busy and take advantage of these and many more great deals currently available out there.


St Patrick, Life & Legend

 St Patrick was born in Roman Britain. Calpurnius, his father, was a decurion and deacon, his grandfather Potitus a priest, from Banna Venta Berniae, a location otherwise unknown, though identified in one tradition as Glannoventa, modern Ravenglass in Cumbria, England; claims have been advanced for locations in both Scotland and Wales.

Patrick, however, was not an active believer. According to the Confession of St. Patrick, at the age of just sixteen Patrick was captured by a group of Irish pirates. They brought him to Ireland where he was enslaved and held captive for six years. Patrick writes in The Confession that the time he spent in captivity was critical to his spiritual development. He explains that the Lord had mercy on his youth and ignorance, and afforded him the opportunity to be forgiven of his sins and converted to Christianity. While in captivity, Saint Patrick worked as a shepherd and strengthened his relationship with God through prayer eventually leading him to convert to Christianity.

After six years of captivity he heard a voice telling him that he would soon go home, and then that his ship was ready. Fleeing his master, he travelled to a port, two hundred miles away, where he found a ship and with difficulty persuaded the captain to take him. After three days sailing they landed, presumably in Britain, and apparently all left the ship, walking for 28 days in a “wilderness”, becoming faint from hunger before encountering a herd of wild boar; since this was shortly after Patrick had urged them to put their faith in God, his prestige in the group was greatly increased. After various adventures, he returned home to his family, now in his early twenties. After returning home to Britain, Saint Patrick continued to study Christianity.

Patrick recounts that he had a vision a few years after returning home:

“I saw a man coming, as it were from Ireland. His name was Victoricus, and he carried many letters, and he gave me one of them. I read the heading: ‘The Voice of the Irish’. As I began the letter, I imagined in that moment that I heard the voice of those very people who were near the wood of Foclut, which is beside the western sea—and they cried out, as with one voice: “We appeal to you, holy servant boy, to come and walk among us.”

Acting on the vision, Patrick returned to Ireland as a Christian missionary. According to J.B. Bury, his landing place was Wicklow, Co. Wicklow, at the mouth of the river Inver-dea, which is now called the Vartry. J.B. Bury suggests that Wicklow was also the port through which Patrick made his escape after his six years captivity, though offers only circumstantial evidence to support this. Tradition has it that St Patrick was not welcomed by the locals and was forced to leave to seek a more welcoming landing place further north. He rested for some days at the islands off the Skerries coast, one of which still retains the name of Inis-Patrick. The first sanctuary dedicated by St. Patrick was at Saul. Shortly thereafter Benin (or Benignus), son of the chieftain Secsnen, joined Patrick’s group.

Much of the Declaration concerns charges made against St. Patrick by his fellow Christians at a trial. What these charges were, he does not say explicitly, but he writes that he returned the gifts which wealthy women gave him, did not accept payment for baptisms, nor for ordaining priests, and indeed paid for many gifts to kings and judges, and paid for the sons of chiefs to accompany him. It is concluded, therefore, that he was accused of some sort of financial impropriety, and perhaps of having obtained his bishopric in Ireland with personal gain in mind.

From this same evidence, something can be seen of St. Patrick’s mission. He writes that he “baptised thousands of people”. He ordained priests to lead the new Christian communities. He converted wealthy women, some of whom became nuns in the face of family opposition. He also dealt with the sons of kings, converting them too.

St. Patrick’s position as a foreigner in Ireland was not an easy one. His refusal to accept gifts from kings placed him outside the normal ties of kinship, fosterage and affinity. Legally he was without protection, and he says that he was on one occasion beaten, robbed of all he had, and put in chains, perhaps awaiting execution. Patrick says that he was also “many years later” a captive for 60 days, without giving details.

Another piece of evidence that comes from Patrick’s life is the Letter to Coroticus or Letter to the Soldiers of Coroticus, written after a first remonstrance was received with ridicule and insult. In this, St. Patrick writes an open letter announcing that he has excommunicated Coroticus because he had taken some of St. Patrick’s converts into slavery while raiding in Ireland. The letter describes the followers of Coroticus as “fellow citizens of the devils” and “associates of the Scots [of Dalriada and later Argyll] and Apostate Picts”. Based largely on an eighth-century gloss, Coroticus is taken to be King Ceretic of Alt Clut. Thompson however proposed that based on the evidence it is more likely that Coroticus was a British Roman living in Ireland. It has been suggested that it was the sending of this letter which provoked the trial which Patrick mentions in the Confession.

Legends of St Patrick

Shamrock used in illustrative  parable

St. Patrick depicted with shamrock in detail of stained glass window in St. Benin’s Church, Kilbennan, County Galway, Ireland. Legend credits St. Patrick with teaching the Irish about the doctrine of the Holy Trinity by showing people the shamrock, a three-leafed plant, using it to illustrate the Christian teaching of three persons in one God. This story first appears in writing in 1726, though it may be older. The shamrock has since become a central symbol for St Patrick’s Day.

In pagan Ireland, three was a significant number and the Irish had many triple deities, a fact that may have aided St Patrick in his evangelisation efforts when he “held up a shamrock and discoursed on the Christian Trinity”. Icons of St Patrick often depict the saint with a cross in one hand and a sprig of shamrocks in the other.

Banishes the snakes from Ireland

The absence of snakes in Ireland gave rise to the legend that they had all been banished by St. Patrick chasing them into the sea after they attacked him during a 40-day fast he was undertaking on top of a hill. This hagiographic theme draws on the Biblical account of the staff of the prophet Moses. In Exodus 7:8–7:13, Moses and Aaron use their staffs in their struggle with Pharaoh’s sorcerers, the staffs of each side morphing into snakes. Aaron’s snake-staff prevails by consuming the other snakes.

However, all evidence suggests that post-glacial Ireland never had snakes, as on insular “New Zealand, Iceland, Greenland and Antarctica… So far, no serpent has successfully migrated across the open ocean to a new terrestrial home” from Scotland, at one point only some twelve miles from Ireland, where a few native species have lived, “the venomous adder, the grass snake, and the smooth snake”, as National Geographic notes; sea snakes exist only in the Pacific and Indian oceans. “At no time has there ever been any suggestion of snakes in Ireland, so [there was] nothing for St. Patrick to banish”, says naturalist Nigel Monaghan, keeper of natural history at the National Museum of Ireland in Dublin, who has searched extensively through Irish fossil collections and records.

Walking stick grows into a living tree

Some Irish legends involve the Oilliphéist, the Caoránach, and the Copóg Phádraig. During his evangelising journey back to Ireland from his parent’s home at Birdoswald, he is understood to have carried with him an ash wood walking stick or staff. He thrust this stick into the ground wherever he was evangelising and at the place now known as Aspatria (ash of Patrick) the message of the dogma took so long to get through to the people there that the stick had taken root by the time he was ready to move on

Speaking with ancient Irish ancestors

The twelfth-century work Acallam na Senórach tells of Patrick being met by two ancient warriors, Caílte mac Rónáin and Oisín, during his evangelical travels. The two were once members of Fionn mac Cumhaill’s warrior band the Fianna, and somehow survived to Patrick’s time. In the work St. Patrick seeks to convert the warriors to Christianity, while they defend their pagan past. The heroic pagan lifestyle of the warriors, of fighting and feasting and living close to nature, is contrasted with the more peaceful, but unheroic and non-sensual life offered by Christianity.


St Patrick’s Day Parties

  • Figueretas
    • Claire B

Thursday March 17 is St Patrick’s Day and you can be sure that Ibiza Town’s only Irish Bar, Father Jacks in Figueretas will be the place to celebrate all things Irish on that side of the island. Opening at noon, there’ll be racing from the Cheltenham Festival during the day and ‘Paddy Oke’ (karaoke to traditional Irish songs) with Andie Fields from 6pm. Irish stew will be served and of course there’s draught Guinness, a selection of Irish whiskey’s including Jameson, Paddy and Bushmills on offer, as well as Baileys, lager, cider and everything else you would expect to help the party on its way. Plus lots of free Guinness hats and other promotional giveaways for those who want to dress up for the day and get into the party spirit. So come and join the local Irish and British community who’ll all be out in force to commemorate the tradition that is St. Patrick’s Day and partake in some good old Irish craic. Father Jacks is at Calle Asturias 19 in Figueretes, a short walk from Ibiza Town. (see ad front page)

  • San Antonio

The renamed for the Day ‘Stevie O’D’s’ are offering lovers of the black stuff a very special treat with their buy 2 get 1 free offers leaving you with 3 pints of Guiness in your hands (a trick in itself) for the ex-patacular price of 8€. This in addition to a whole host of less traditional booze in twos all slipping down with ease alongside a range of Irish Tapas including Cabbage and Shpuds—we’re just glad we’ve seen posts from Ibiza’s Irish ex-pat community lately presenting their lack of problem with stereotyping as a positive, as it’s about to get worse.

DJ Davy O’Chip (or as we’d have called him, Fried Spud)  will be dying his hair ginger for the day, which should be quite a sight, and  there are prizes for those suitably speckled with freckles and those of a ginger fringe—though to be fair we think our own Nicole Torres will be cleaning up on those two.

  • Santa Eulalia

St Patricks proibably isn’t the day for travelling too far from home, certainly not if driving, and so this year the folk of Santa Eulalia will be pleased to hear that the Celt Belt has extended out to their fine city with the opening of new Irish Bar Nimmos on the biggest day in the Irish Bar calander.

As with every new project in Ibiza they are probably up to their armpits in that last frantic rush to get everything done, so we can’t tell you much more than that there will be live music, and of course, the craic!

Five Minute Fiction – “Tuesday”

  • Lindsay Detwiler

On an ordinary Tuesday between straining the overcooked pasta and batting her bangs out of her eyes, it happened. There was no warning to brace herself for the hatchet’s impact.

“I don’t love you anymore,” he spat as if declaring his disdain for garlic bread.

“What?” she asked, turning to face him as the pasta sat in the strainer.

“Corrine, it’s not you. Honestly. It’s me. I’m just not happy. I don’t love you anymore,” he apologized, sincerity dripping from his eyes.

“Okay…” she said, a lilt at the end of the word. Her brain was pounding. He didn’t love her anymore. What did that mean? When did this happen? Questions bombarded her, but she didn’t know which to ask first.

“Let’s sit down,” he pleaded, pulling her arm toward the table with a gentle, familiar touch.

They sat at the table, empty plates reminding her of what was supposed to be a perfect Italian dinner. The sauce was still on the stove, probably scalding to the bottom of the pan.

She would let it burn.

She wanted to go in the living room like nothing happened and sit with their cat Neville. She wanted to attribute his words to temporary insanity. She wanted to forget this was happening.

You didn’t just fall out of love after fifteen years of marriage. You didn’t just bail out because of the onset of grays or cellulite or boredom.

But apparently Joe did. Because on an ordinary Tuesday, after the sauce had blackened the pan, after Corrine’s sobs had turned into pure ugly crying, after he packed a duffle bag, Joe walked out.


Eight months later, between the cash register and the pick-up counter at Starbucks, Corrine’s life changed again.

He was in front of her, waiting on his triple-espresso. She noticed his jeans fit just right. His hair was styled but dishevelled, like he wasn’t trying too hard. He had a distinguished jawline. That was something Joe never had, something Corrine craved.

But she would have never left Joe for another jawline.

She sighed at herself, thinking it was hopeless. She would never recover from Joe’s damage. He had taunted her with forever for fifteen years only to take an early out. He had left her alone, saggy breasts and fine lines starting. What was she supposed to do with her life now?

“Are you Corrine?” the jawline guy asked her now, startling her out of her thoughts.

Her stomach dropped. “Yeah, how do you know?”

“Because they’ve been calling your name now for oh, I don’t know, two minutes?” He smiled, grabbing for her coffee from the counter.

Her face burned with warmth. “Oh my God, I’m an idiot. Thank you,” she said, her fingers brushing his as she grabbed the cup.

“I’m Warren.”  His hand lingered on the cup a few extra seconds. It was a simple, platonic touch, a kind stranger passing her a coffee. However, as she locked her gaze on him, she suddenly recognized the feeling stirring within her.

It was a feeling of hope.

So Joe had moved on. Big deal. So she didn’t have children. Cats were great too. And so what if she had a few grey hairs? Clairol worked just fine.

She found herself grinning up at the tall man, not dark and handsome, but handsome in his own right. She found herself imagining what his jawline would feel like in her hand, what his lips would feel like on hers.

Okay, so she was getting ahead of herself. It was just a guy at Starbucks.

But now, she knew her heart wasn’t completely shattered. Her forever wasn’t locked and sealed. Her forever was open again.

It was just another ordinary Tuesday, and her life had changed again.


The Week …

  • For more agenda see pages 10-11 and 13

Semana Santa

  • Ibiza Town
    • Words & Pictures Claire B

Easter week (Holy Week or Semana Santa) begins in Ibiza on March 20. It starts with Palm Sunday (Domingo de Ramos), the final Sunday before Easter, which commemorates the triumphal entrance of Jesus into Jerusalem, traditionally marked by the blessing of palms and a procession. There’ll then be a procession on each day of the week from one of the main churches in Ibiza Town until Good Friday. The big procession in Ibiza Town is in the evening on Good Friday, March 25, where all the church brotherhoods will parade their statues from the Cathedral, through Dalt Vila and then through the streets of the town. There are also processions in the other major towns on the island.

Semana Santa is a Christian religious holiday, celebrated from the last week of Lent up to Easter Sunday (the Pascua de Resurrección). Spain is well known for its Semana Santa processions and these also take place in Ibiza. The processions are steeped in tradition and are a sombre celebration of Jesus Christ’s last few days (The Passion of Christ). Church brotherhoods (cofradías) carry large, ornately decorated, religious statues through the streets accompanied by the thud of drums and the mournful wailing of trumpets. Some of the statues are huge and can take up to 18 people to carry them. In each procession will be ‘nazarenos’, who wear a hood, tunic and belt in their cofradia’s special colours. Many wear ‘capirotes’ – tall, pointed hoods with eye-holes – designed so that the wearers could repent for their sins anonymously. In the darkness and candlelight they look somewhat reminiscent of the outfits worn by the Ku Klux Klan (apparently early KKK members were influenced by what they saw during Semana Santa). Traditionally, the nazarenos would often walk barefoot or have shackles and chains on their feet as penance, but these days and in Ibiza they’re more likely to carry crosses. With mourners walking alongside the musicians, nazarenos and the bearers carrying the statues, the processions are a moving and interesting spectacle, and are worth experiencing if you want to immerse yourself in the culture of Spain and the island, whether you’re religious or not. There may also be concerts in the major towns, so check locally (there will be posters at the main churches).

Processions in Ibiza Town (last year’s schedule which is probably the same):

Sunday March 20, 10:00: Blessing of the palms in the Iglesia del Convento followed by a procession to the Cathedral

March 20, 10.00: Blessing of the palms of the Cofradía Nuestro Padre Jesús del Gran Poder in the Parque del Paz, followed by a procession to the Iglesia del Rosario

March 20, 11.00: Procession of the Cofradía del Santísimo Cristo del Cementerio from the Iglesia de San Telmo to the Iglesia de Santo Domingo with an effigy of Jesus entering Jerusalem

March 20, 20:00: Mass in the parish of Santa Cruz followed by a procession of the Cofradía del Santísimo Cristo de la Agonía

Monday March 21, 20:00: Mass at the Iglesia del Convento (C/ General Balanzat, Dalt Vila) and procession of the Cofradía del Santo Cristo del Cementerio through the streets of Dalt Vila

Tuesday March 22, 20:00: Mass at the Cathedral and procession of the Cofradía del Santo Cristo Yacente through the streets of Dalt Vila

Wednesday March 23, 20:00: Procession of the Cofradía Nuestro Padre Jesús del Gran Poder from the Iglesia del Rosario to the Cathedral

Thursday March 24, 07:30: Procession of the Cofradía Santo Cristo de la Agonia from the Rosario de la Aurora with the effigy of Nuestra Señora de la Esperanza to the Cathedral

Good Friday March 25, 09:00: Via Crucis (the way of the cross) sees Jesus being carried on the cross from the parish of Santa Cruz to the Cathedral

March 25, 20.00: Procession of Santo Entierro (the holy burial) from the Cathedral, in which all of the cofradías take part

Details at:

San Jose Fiesta

  • San Jose
    • Claire B

The fiesta in San Jose is on now until April 10. The ‘Día de San Jose’ is on Saturday March 19 when there’ll be mass at 12.00h with singers from the choir of San Jose, followed by a procession, folk dancing and wine drinking in honour of the patron saint, San Jose (Saint Joseph). In the evening from 22.00h there’s a Michael Jackson tribute from ‘I want you back’ and from 23.30h live music from ‘Los Canallas del Guateke’, the new project from Iván Doménech, Joan Barbé, Jano Blanco and Fernando Hormigo. There’s also a wide range of sporting and cultural activities taking place throughout the fiesta, including paddle tournaments, walks, scrabble competitions, exhibitions of classic cars, film screenings, magic and comedy, live music, and concerts. Full fiesta programme online:

Sant Pepe Rock

  • San Jose
    • Claire B

Saturday March 26 sees the Sant Pepe Rock concert, which is part of the San Jose fiesta. Local band The Frigolos are the opening act, followed by two emblematic Spanish pop-rock acts, Kiko Veneno and La Frontera. Held in the car park near to the Town Hall from 21.00h. Free entrance.


The Season …

Rocks Live Line Up

Ibiza Rocks returns for its 11th year in 2016, brining 14 weeks of live music under the stars to Ibiza every Wednesday from June 15 to September 14. The first 8 headlining acts have been announced:

  • 15/06  Opening party with Slaves
  • 29/06  Jack Garratt / Honne
  • 06/07  Birthday (Part 1) LCD Soundsystem
  • 13/07  Birthday (Part 2) Major Lazer Soundsystem
  • 20/07  Jess Glynne
  • 27/07  Tinie Tempah
  • 03/08  Kaiser Chiefs
  • 31/08  Faithless

“This year is hugely exciting for us at Ibiza Rocks as we embark on our second decade on the island. LCD Soundsystem debuted for us way back in 2004 for a show that was pivotal in inspiring our live music revolution in Ibiza. It felt special – upstart promoters and a maverick producer challenging the way things were. They return as one of the world’s biggest bands and we couldn’t be prouder. With Faithless and Major Lazer Soundsystem joining us we’ve got three global festival headliners at the Ibiza Rocks Hotel this year and that’s because there simply isn’t another gig atmosphere like it for artists and fans alike. Then we have new talents like Slaves, Jack Garratt and Jess Glynne who we’ve brought up through the ranks from support slots to headliners and firm favourites like Tinie Tempah and Kaiser Chiefs who consistently put on a brilliant live show. There’s more to come and we can’t wait.” Shane Murray, Brand Director, Ibiza Rocks Group

Beach Clubs Reopen

  • Playa D’en Bossa
    • Claire B

Saturday March 19 sees many of Playa D’en Bossa’s beach clubs reopen for the summer season.

Nassau Beach Club reopens at 13.00h until 1am. With DJs Miguel Garji, Tom Pool, Dazzla, David Crops plus shows and surprises.

The Beach Club at The Hard Rock Hotel is throwing a Children of the 80s party. Open from 12.00h until midnight, the party will really start at 5pm when the La Movida DJs will be playing 80s tunes.

Sir Rocco opens from 12.00h, serving the best Italian food.

Nassau Tanit Beach has been open at weekends for some weeks, and has regular Saturday night parties.

Coco Beach opens on Thursday March 24.

For more details of each event see the venue’s Facebook page.

International Music Summit

  • Ibiza
    • Claire B

Details are emerging about this year’s International Music Summit (IMS) in Ibiza, being held at The Hard Rock Hotel May 25-27. The first speakers at the summit to be announced include an exciting line-up of rare public speaking appearances from pioneers The Pet Shop Boys and legendary Swedish duo Yello, who will both be interviewed by Pete Tong. Also, Carl Cox, Richie Hawtin, Seth Troxler, Erick Morillo, Dubfire, Guy Gerber, Mr C, Nicole Moudaber and Manchester DJ Dave Haslam amongst others, will sit alongside industry icons from across the electronic music realm, including representatives of Space Ibiza, Warner Music Group, Crowdmix and more.

The line-up for the Dalt Vila party has also been announced. Held on just one night this year on Friday May 27 in line with the scaling back of live events in Dalt Vila, the line-up features Dubfire: HYBRID (live), Tale of Us, Nicole Moudaber, B.Traits, Benjamin Damage (live) and Francesca Lombardo. Headlining is techno innovator Dubfire, who’ll present a performance of his live audio visual concept HYBRID, a project that fuses dark, robust techno with abstract, cinematic production. Tickets for Dalt Vila cost 50€. More details at:

Judgement ‘16

Nights come and nights go – in today’s throwaway culture, notching up a decade on the White Isle is an impressive feat in itself, let alone twelve, even fifteen years. So, with its 16th season now signed off, it’s time to welcome Judge Jules back to its spiritual home of Eden once again for another summer of Judgement – as you’ve never experienced it before.

In fifteen years of non-stop parties on the island, the Judge hasn’t budged for any fads or trends – staying true to the original hedonistic party atmosphere that Judgement has become legendary for, 2016 sees it return with another trick up its sleeve an a completely fresh take on what it means to party in Ibiza.

This summer, a night at Judgement will be your opportunity to truly immerse yourself in a UV world that could only exist in Ibiza – expect parades, dancers, elaborate costumes, face paints and an unforgettable carnival atmosphere that’ll leave your memories tinged in neon. It’s going to be an all-out party, week in, week out – and you’re invited.

With a whole new investment team on board, the promotion will be ramped to a level Judgement has never experienced before. The entire night has undergone a complete re-brand, complete with new weekly residents in the shape of Son Of 8 – the UK duo who are set to blow up this summer with releases signed to Armada Deep.

Expect the unexpected in terms of guest djs, with a music policy that takes in all things house, progressive, electro and trance, and a clear aim to keep the party going over the entire summer. Never one to rest on his laurels, Judge Jules has taken the party that shaped so many summers and created countless unforgettable memories, and given it a new lease of life ready for 2016.

With his own release “With A Song” currently sat on the Beatport Top 20, Judge Jules has continued to exert his influence on the scene in the club, in the studio, and from Monday to Friday, as a music lawyer for Sheridans. With a history on the island like no other, Judgement has once again re-invented itself to stay ahead of the curve. For those who begin their weekends in the company of the Judge this summer, expect the sentence handed down to be heavy with eight hours of bass, beats and beyond.

Judgement will be at Eden every Friday from June 24th

  • Committed Gooner Judge Jules, below, with the rather surprising inclusion of West Ham insignia in his logo. Well you don’t last as long as the Judge in dance music without a sense of which way the wind is blowing ;-)


Community & Agenda


Thursday 17th Mar to Wednesday 23rd Mar 2016

ARIES – The Fool

Taking chances and trusting will be a key issue this week.  The Fool card doesn’t mean you are one and although it’s wise to be cautious, you’re urged to take risks and to have self-belief.  Be fearless and follow your heart and intuition.  There are no wrong moves; only your reactions to unfolding events that will make a difference.

TAURUS – Eight of Cups

Find time away from others and to listen to your inner voice.  You may discover that there are some personal issues that need addressing.  This may result in you withdrawing from those who have no boundaries or exhaust you; or to set limits with those who drain your energy.  Seek nourishing, respectful relationships at this stage of your emotional journey.

GEMINI – Knight of Wands

Travel is linked to business opportunities which although rewarding, takes up time you’d rather spend closer to home.  Creativity is emphasised therefore get on with an important project and release your inner artist.  For some, this Prince brings a new and sincere admirer; one who’s younger than you in years; but not in attitude.  They will make you laugh!

CANCER – The Hermit

This is the ninth card of the TAROT and therefore signifies completion of a cycle. The figure stands on top of a mountain; he’s alone but not lonely, shining his light so others can see the way.  It’s your week to be a shining example to others; to be a peacemaker not an agitator; a healer of hearts no less!

LEO – Four of Disks

Clever ideas generate income and you’ll be busy making useful connections to establish credibility business-wise. You’d be sensible to plan for the future by reviewing your income and by even investing in your future.  You’ll generate more than you think this week; however begin saving for a ‘ rainy day’ or to buy the lifestyle choices you want.

VIRGO – Justice

Practice your skills in discernment.  Weigh up everything you’re being presented; in all areas of life.  What counts most is how you react to what you’re being shown or told.  You’re at a pivotal point where changes are on your horizon.  A new life direction beckons and you must decide what you take with you and what you leave behind.

LIBRA – King of Swords

Use your head this week; don’t be tempted to give in to emotional outbursts, action through intellect speaks louder than words!   By all means make sweeping changes; either with a partner, relative or close associates who, until recently, has called the shots.  Now, theirs is not the only game in town.  Air sign men, Libra, Gemini or Aquarius prove supportive.

SCORPIO – Nine of Swords

Keep your thoughts as positive as possible even if situations become problematic. You have much to deal with this week; making it difficult for you to see the wood for the trees.  Sort out one issue at a time by categorising their immediate importance and impact.  Most of what you fear may never happen, so don’t give in to it.

SAGITTARIUS – Nine of Cups

You’re on the road to something successful and will definitely have much to be pleased about this week.  Family time is high on your list of priorities and some good news that affects you all is on the way. This is known as the wish card in the TAROT; make one and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the outcome!

CAPRICORN – Four of Cups

You’ll be tempted to accept the opportunities now on offer however, you would be wise to wait for a bit. Something’s coming that will be more to your liking; so hold off making hasty decisions that you’ll later regret. This is especially so when it comes to close relationships; are you fully committed or just going along with a situation?

AQUARIUS – Ace of Swords

Clear decision making is a rare ability; however this week you’re able to cut through any indecisiveness or the procrastination of others to get your desired result.  Your instincts are honed.   If you’ve any legal matters pending, it denotes triumph over your opponents and you sporting types make formidable opponents.  No-one gets the better of you this week!

PISCES – The Magician

The arcane message of the Magician reminds us to focus our attention like a laser, on every aspect of our life.  By doing so we’re capable of becoming Magicians, able to manifest whatever ‘magic’ we want.  Some give up on their dreams and aspirations easily by accepting what others or society tells them is the norm.  Follow your inspiration.

Art: “Color, Luz y Sombra”

  • Jesus

Colour, Light and Shade is a collective exhibition featuring Sculpture and Wood Engraving by William, Paintings by Penelope,  Photographs by Mischa

William and Penelope met at Art College and spent a nomadic life travelling in Europe and Asia Minor with their family. They settled in Ibiza in 1971. They have exhibited widely in Ibiza being founder members of Galleria El Mensajero in Santa Eulalia, and Galeria Las Dalias  in San Carlos.

William  embarked on a degree in design, sculpture and engraving and later obtained an art teacher’s diploma at Swansea College of Art. He has exhibited regularly at the “Society of Wood Engravers” in England.

In Ibiza his creative endeavours were, for a long time, interspersed with part-time art teaching at Felicity’s School, The International School and, later, Morna Valley School.  His studio and garden are bursting with artwork: Sculptures, reliefs, life drawings and prints from extraordinarily intricate wood engravings. He is a member of la Ruta del Arte and welcome´s clients directly to his studio.

Penelope was much collected for her miniature paintings on small wooden boxes. She had annual sell out exhibitions in the Casa de la Cura in Ibiza Cathedral square.

She started painting with oils on canvases and gesso boards. She had her first solo show in 1983 with the Portal Gallery, Bond Street, London and went on to having her works sold in specialist auctions at Christies, South Kensington.

Mischa was raised in Ibiza winning many painting competitions at the village school in Santa Gertrudis. She finished her education in the UK, gaining a degree in Fine Art. The images she captures often have a painted quality to them. She hardly edits them, but the composition and subject matter often evoke mystery and ambiguity. She has exhibited before with her mother Penelope, but this will be the first time with her father William.

Inauguration 18th March 19.00 hrs. In el Centro Cultural de Jesús., C/ del Faisà, 7 – 07819, Jesús, tel 871 159 953.  Open Mondays to Fridays  until the 7 April,  daily 16.00 -20.30 hrs


Can Misses Card

This may be handy for anyone visiting Can Misses as an outpatient with an appointment :

You go in the Main Entrance and insert your medical card in the machine located on the right hand side. This then registers you are actually at the hospital. The machine will issue you with a ticket which you take with you to the appropriate floor. You then sit and watch a TV screen until your number is displayed!
Simple – when you know how it works!

Jackie Dick

Woeful Waste

Dear Nick

Regarding your piece in Ibizan.In the vilage of San Jose in the parking opposite the school every Saturday morning 10.00 – 13.00 h Ca Na Negreta reciclado park a lorry to take away most domestic things beds washing machines etc.I imagine they have more sites as well . Maybe you could print that info’ , it might help raise awareness.

Regards Glenn Marples.

Tel 971 31 13 13

  • Ed: Thanks Glenn. Though I have seen the late night trucks collecting large items dumped by bins, I did not know there were ‘official’ collections. If readers know of similar in other parts of the island please do let us know.


It’s Good To Talk

  • Kate Stillman

Hi Everyone,

No letter this week so I thought I’d take the opportunity to just write about a topic that affects us all and comes up on a regular basis. Living through the death of someone you love is so terribly hard. The depths of isolation and darkness that many of us feel can be so unbearable that there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.

There is no easy way to resolve the feelings that surround the death of someone that we love, we never really get over it but what we can do is slowly begin to learn to live with it as part of a new way of being. I’m sure many people don’t in fact want to forget about the person but they do want to be able to function and live with the feelings they have about that person. In my experience with of working with bereavement and loss the best way to start living with uncomfortable feelings is to be able to express them at appropriate times, this means that you have an element of control over them and when they come to the forefront rather than them controlling you. I know it seems easy to say and yes there will be times when we are simply overcome but again that is part of being human and showing our vulnerability and knowing ourselves well enough to be able to express that without feeling ashamed or guilty about those around us.

People often talk about the stages of grief and yes they do exist, disbelief, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However we all experience these stages slightly differently and for varying lengths of time. What is certain though is that the more you are able to express your feelings in a safe, supportive and contained way then the more chance you have of being able to reach the final stage. Some people find themselves “stuck” at one or more of these stages and there can be a feeling that “I should be over it by now” which leads to a reluctance to talk to those who care. As I said before we never really get over a bereavement, we learn to live with it and the best way to do that healthily is to talk about how you feel, tell stories about the one who you’ve lost and slowly you will find a peaceful place which allows you to remember the joys of that relationship rather than the grief and sadness that followed.

If you feel you would like some additional support in a safe and confidential space then please feel free to come to our weekly FREE support group which takes place every Tuesday in San Lorenzo e mailkate@ibizacounselling for more info and directions.

New San Antonio Writers’ Group

Every Saturday in Maxims Rock Bar situated in San Antonio Bay, next door to George’s Peppermint Café and across the road from Els Pins Hotel there is a free Writers’ Group emerging.  (2-4pm)

Currently in its infancy the group is ideally going to be a meeting place for writers of all abilities to find support from other members.  If you’re writing a novel and need an injection of inspiration, wanting to start a blog and have no idea how, if you want to self-publish or want to get ready to find an agent and get a publishing deal we can help you get there.  (Get your work ready, not a publishing deal… I wish I could offer that.)  If you just want to write for yourself, write thought provoking poetry, come along and we will see what we can do together.

Started by Davena Slade-Nicolaou, she missed her successful writing group back in the Peak District, Writers in the Peak.  So in Ibiza with all the creative people around she thought San Antonio could do with something like this.

“There are already groups that local Spanish people are involved in, but the level of Spanish is beyond my capabilities at the moment.  The writing I’m doing is thrilling and I just miss the input from other writers that keeps me going when I feel I’m starting to falter.  A group in San Antonio every week and all year round is really exciting.”

3-day Hike  & 4-day Bike Challenge

  • Claire B

3 Day Hike

The Ibiza Walking Association is organising 3-day hiking trips. A 65km 3-day trek through the wilderness of the Northwest corner of Ibiza with 2 nights camping. Starting at Punta Galera (just north of San Antonio), the incredible route passes through secluded forests around Santa Agnès, visits secret beaches near Cala d’Albarca and features camping locations that are, simply put, unforgettable.

The first one is scheduled from March 25-27 but there are several others during April and May and later on in the year if there is sufficient demand.

Cost is 165.00€ per person (including food, camping equipment and baggage transfers). The Association also organises regular walks each week out of season.

4-Day Challenge

Walking Ibiza is organising the Ibiza 4-Day Challenge from April 21-24. The Challenge involves circumnavigating the island in 4 days, using mountain bikes, kayaks and walking – an incredible experience that will test your fitness levels, get your adrenaline flowing and is guaranteed to be lots of fun.

 The price per person is €895.00, which includes transfers, initiation and briefing, most food (all home made and nutritionally balanced) water, camping and hotels, professional guides for kayaking, mountain biking and walking and a celebration dinner.

The challenge is fully supported all the way. They also organise other walking tours including round the island walks, plus regular walks each week, usually on Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays.

Family Fiesta

  • Carly S

Looking for Family Fun in the sun this weekend? Also looking to help a great cause? Well, look no further! Kids Funktion have teamed up with the beautiful Agroturismo Sa Talaia to hold a huge family event to raise funds for Ibiza y Formentera Contra El Cancer.

The event starts at 2pm and has something for everyone. There’ll be bouncy castles, candy floss, arts and crafts, creative talks and lessons, face painting, football, a Zumba class, a mini disco, DJ lessons and a Frozen party for the kids. For the grown ups, there’s live music from Emma Jane, Harry James and myself with the incredible Hot Ice headlining, DJ’s, cocktails by boutique bartending, food, market stalls, a Zumba class, face painting and a stunning chill out area. For parking, please go to Gala Nights Benimussa Park. Full information and directions to the event can be found here:

 Several local businesses and performers are donating their time to this incredible fundraiser, so big thanks to Ultima Entertainment, Soccer Kids, Kids Corner, kids on decks, laura Ibiza Zumba, Hot Ice, Boutique Bartending, Ibiza Princess and Superhero Parties and, of course Kerry Ann Young’s brilliant Kids Funktion event and party planning who have organised and orchestrated the entire day.

Entry is just 6€ for adults and 4€ for children and includes a ticket for the huge raffle, to which some truly fantastic prizes have been donated. Further donations are still being accepted, so if you want to donate a prize please contact Kerry Ann Young or Tania Muscovitch through the event Facebook page.

I visited the venue last week and it is absolutely wonderful…lush, green, spacious, classy and stunningly decorated – I can’t wait to go back as one of the many contributors to this massive event. This looks set to be a fabulous day, so come along, dig deep and let’s raise as much as we possibly can to help this brilliant charity. See you on Saturday!

View From The Pew; Palm Sunday

  • Dr Peter Pimentel

This Sunday (March 20th) is Palm Sunday when Christians from all traditions around the world will celebrate the entry of Jesus into Jerusalem and the events of Holy Week that would end with his arrest and trial and death sentence.  A biography of Jesus written in the first century known as the Gospel of Luke will be read in churches.  It says:

 As he approached Bethphage and Bethany at the hill called the Mount of Olives, he sent two of his disciples, saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and as you enter it, you will find a colt tied there, which no-one has ever ridden. Untie it and bring it here. If anyone asks you, ‘Why are you untying it?’ tell him, ‘The Lord needs it.’” Those who were sent ahead went and found it just as he had told them. As they were untying the colt, its owners asked them, “Why are you untying the colt?” They replied, “The Lord needs it.” They brought it to Jesus, threw their cloaks on the colt and put Jesus on it. As he went along, people spread their cloaks on the road. When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen.

Jesus is enacting an ancient prophecy that the Messiah king would enter Jerusalem in just this way.  An oracle from the prophet Zechariah (6th Century BC) says:

“Rejoice greatly, O Daughter of Zion! Shout, Daughter of Jerusalem! See, your king comes to you, righteous and having salvation, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey.” (The Bible: Zechariah 9:9).

There is a curious statement in the above saying of Jesus which I have underlined.  Jesus says that he must enter Jerusalem on a colt “which no-one has ever ridden.”  This is one of those mysterious sayings that show just how authentic and trustworthy the Gospel account is.  There is an ancient rabbinic law, not contained in the Bible, in Mishnah Sanhedrin 2:5, contemporary to the time of Jesus, which says: “no-one may ride” (or may have ridden) on the King’s horse!

  • Service this Sunday: 20th March 10:30am at Sant Rafel church. Tel: 971 34 33 83
  • The English-Speaking Church on Ibiza & Formentera. See website for locations & information. Tel 971 343383



  • Amanda Zips It Up

Greetings Spring Timers.

We’ve had a glorious few days in London. Spring has finally sprung, which means two things.  Getting back in the gym and ditching carbs, plus buying garden furniture, purely because the sun has been shining for 5 minutes. I’m sure sales of rattan sofas have rocketed this week. You can bet your bottom dollar, when those rattan orders arrive, so too will the rain and grey skies.

Anyway. Whilst in my garden reading, when I could tear myself from dreaming of the arrival of my rattan 4-piece that is, I stumbled across an interesting story about the normally so bland Harry Potter actress, Emma Watson. Usually I’d skip past anything she has to say, but lucky I didn’t on this occasion

Apparently, Emma likes to visit a new website :

The site teaches women how to orgasm. What can’t we learn on the web these days? Emma comments “I wish (this site) had been around longer. It’s an expensive subscription but it’s worth it.”

I was intrigued and researched further. Purely out of professional curiosity, of course.

After signing up and paying the £40 fee, women can spend hours on the site (a bit like facebook with vaginas) watching demos and tutorials on how to caress all the right places and on perfect ‘touching’ motions and rhythms. Apparently based on research involving women aged 18 – 95 (who the hell orgasms at 95??), its content is extensive.

If this online DIY thing isn’t your cup of tea, there’s always Orgasmic Meditation Classes, originating from San Francisco and now in the UK. Basically, a sort of Yoga or Pilates class with an instructor physically, and I mean physically, showing you how to achieve climax – all on a yoga mat with cushions. You strip off your yoga pants and get transported into a state of orgasmic meditation – all for just £147. Cheap at twice the price.

I posted the ‘how it’s done’ video on my page and it had a crazy amount of views. Unsurprisingly, from men. Perhaps men need this sort of hands-on know-how as much as women?

So whatever you’re up to this weekend (*winks) enjoy Amanda Zips It Up. x

Read Amanda’s fashion blog

True Rocks

One of my favourite Jewellery lines EVER has to be True Rocks.

Since its launch, the brand has become the choice of many an A-Lister.

Following on from the huge success last year of their iconic safety pin, pill and globe necklaces, sold at Liberty in London, True Rocks and their punky pieces have now launched brand new designs for Spring/Summer 2016.

East-coast ‘Coney-Island baby’ beach inspired new pieces include coke bottles, lobster claws, whistles and anchors, to get you in the mood for a long hot summer.

Ibiza/London dynamic design duo Emily Bradbury and Dawn Hindle made waves last year with a super-successful collaboration with Brit artist Gavin Turk, and also celebrated artist Rachel Howard on ‘The Humble Hanger’.

Emily and my good friend Dawn’s unique jewellery label reflects their lifestyle and influences, taking in music, fashion and art. As you may know, Dawn is behind the cult hotel Ibiza Rocks House at Pikes and Ibiza Rocks in general. Since developing True Rocks, the girls have created a distinctive ‘Victorian Punk’ style of their own. Rapidly acquiring celebrity fans, Idris Elba snapped up the first Rich Tea necklace before the Haim sisters and Lily Allen rocked their personal favourite pieces on stage during their Ibiza Rocks and Glastonbury gigs. Recently Cara Delevigne, Lily Cole and Ellie Goulding have all been spotted in True Rocks.

True Rocks’ latest look-book also introduces a new ‘pick and mix’ system of charms and chains. Chose a bracelet or necklace chain and then add as little or as many charms as you wish to make your own bespoke piece of jewellery.  Also new for summer is their ‘Shine in first place’ vintage medal collection of charms and pendants and chunky broaches.

I daren’t check out the whole range because I’ll just want every piece. Look out for True Rocks on the white isle (and everywhere else) this summer.

C4 Explosive Hair.

Whether you’re a tourist, ex-pat or Spanish resident in Ibiza, there’s one thing we all need throughout the year, and that’s a hairdresser. If you’re on the white isle and need anything from a pink Mohican to a full head of caramel highlights, or even a hipster beard trim, there really is only one salon worth going to and that’s C4 Explosive Hair by Martin Kelly.

Tucked away in the quaint streets of San Antonio, Martin’s salon is a mecca for modern hair care and design. He attracts all walks of life, from tattooed nightclub doormen to glamorous models and dancers. The odd glass of fizz isn’t unheard of, mixed with friendly banter about who’s playing at Pacha that night and maybe some footy chat. In fact, you’ll feel right at home.

Martin moved to Ibiza from his native Scotland back in 2001 and has fully established his business with a unique and inventive style of hairdressing. The salon provided tattooing and piercing back then, but now focuses on spa and beauty facilities to cope with the exacting VIP demands of today’s Ibiza.

I have been a regular client of Martin’s for years and he’s pretty much the family hairdresser while we’re in Ibiza. He looks after everyone who lives on the island, as well as the summer workers and visitors.

No style is too wacky for Martin. He has a different and ‘distinctive’ barnet every time I visit Ibiza. Last summer I wanted French plaits wrapped around my head for a big party, (which unfortunately the Kardashians have since made popular). Martin did such a sterling (said in Scottish accent) job.


Cala Llonga

Cantaires Open Day

Sweet music and sweet cakes are promised at Cala Llonga choir, the Cantaires, open day on Sunday 20th March. Everybody welcome for a fun day to raise funds for the choir’s programme.

Cala Llonga Awakens

  • Richard Lawson

It’s all change in the ‘not so sleepy’ seaside village of Cala Llonga this Spring as the local bars open their doors to welcome in the new season.

The first of the ‘not so newcomers’, Andy and Lorraine, held the opening party for their new location The Terrace last moth and will be familiar faces to anyone who visited La Cacatua last summer. The Terrace is in a privileged position on the village main street opposite Bar Madison and you can be sure of a friendly welcome from this lovely couple. They’re currently open every weekday afternoon from noon.

The next village opening party takes place on Saturday March 19th at La Cacatua on the Wild Asparagus Estate and, once again, the new owners are familiar faces – no less than Appy and Vicki, previously of Pio’s Bar down by the beach. The Cacatua opening party will run from 11 am – 6:30 pm and, of course, everyone is welcome. Thereafter they will be open daily until April from 8:30 until 6:30 pm serving breakfasts, snacks, main meals etc.

During April they will be open daily, apart from Monday and Tuesdays, and from May 1st every day from 8:30 until 6:30 pm, with one exception. Every Friday evening they will fire up the kitchen again from 7 to 10 pm for a ‘Gourmet and BBQ night’. A good opportunity to pop in and welcome Appy and Vicki to their new poolside venue.

Another Cacatua event takes place during the Easter holiday, on Saturday 26th March, when the renowned local musician Frankie Riley will entertain the assembled throng between 2:30 and 5 pm.

However, all of this begs the question, but what of Pio’s Bar?

The answer is that new owners Jeremy and Karen have already quietly opened down by the beach and plan to continue the venue’s tradition of live music that has made Pio’s so popular down the years. The only difference you might discern will be the absence of Golden Oldies, as they plan to include a wider range of musical genres. Last Sunday was to have been their first live gig since their low key opening night, but the band got the dates wrong so they played the Saturday night as well as the Sunday night, following the magnificent annual event that is Cala Llonga’s annual pre-season beach clean organised by Viva Cala Llonga and involving almost the entire village in the creation of a pristine beach, followed by a party that really made you feel that the season is almost upon us.

Long live Cala LLonga…

Mariposa Easter Fair

Mariposa on the Pueblo Esparagos will be hosting their famous (it is in our house, we love it) easter fair on Easter Sunday the 27th March. A truly traditional affair with stalls, tombolas, and the ’haven’t really lived til you’ve tried it’ Pig Racing by Brian and Di.

To make donations to the tombola, all proceeds of which go to Age Concern, or to book a stall of your own, contact Di on 671 26 05 78.



  • Jezza’s Sport Report

Maro Itoje – a new Rugby Superstar is born!

Rugby Union

Happy days are here again, methinks, at least for the time being for England as in the 6 Nations, not only did they beat old foes Wales on Saturday, to win the Triple Crown, but by dint of Scotland’s brilliant 28-19 win over France on Sunday, they won the title for the first time since 2011. (Now I know trying to get the Scots to give us Sassenach’s anything is like trying to get blood out of a stone, but at least they got something out of it too, a first 6 Nations win over Les Bleus for 10, yes, ten, years!) Anyway, back to Twickenham and certainly one of the best matches of the Championship so far as England played brilliantly for the first hour to be 25-7 up but the last 20 minutes certainly proved to be “squeaky bum” time as Wales at last came to life (as they had nothing to lose!) scoring 2 goals/14 unanswered points to make it a few uneasy final minutes but England held out. Contributions from all 15 England players but ex-Harrow School and Saracens Maro Itoje, at lock and Man of the Match in only his 3rd full Test, really stood out as a star in the making and at only 21 has a world-class future ahead of him. So, onward to Paris on Saturday then for England and a genuine chance to add a Grand Slam for the first time since Sir Clive Woodward’s World Cup winning team of 2003. As for the rest, Ireland recorded their biggest ever win in the 6 Nations as they ran out 58-15 winners over Italy in Dublin and now take on the cock-a-hoop Scots on Saturda in Dublin, whilst Wales are in Cardiff hoping to run up a cricket score against wooden-spoonists Italy. On the domestic front, leaders Saracens, without their England stars, won 26-16 against bottom side London Irish (in the first ever Premiership match played in the US) to keep their 2 point lead in the table as Exeter also won, 32-17 at home to Newcastle, as did Wasps, now 3rd after their 36-24 win over Leicester, Northampton 26-11 at home to Sale, Worcester 28-20 at home to Gloucester and, finally, surprise, surprise, Bath lost yet again, this time 35-28 at the Rec against Harlequins.

Rugby League

now, and wins for both 2nd and 3rd placed Warrington and Wigan, still the only 100%’ers left in the Super League, as the Wolves won at Catalans 30-20 and the Warriors against Leeds, while leaders Widnes remain at the top but have played a game more. There were also wins for Salford at Castleford and Huddersfield at home to bottom club Hull KR.

Road Cycling

and congrats to GB and Team Sky’s Geraint Thomas as he became only the 3rd Brit to win the Paris-Nice road race, beating his nearest competitor, Spaniard Alberto Contador by 4 seconds, which in the context of his overall time of 27 hours, 26 minutes and 40 seconds is miniscule to say the least but well done to the Welshman as he added the title to the Volta ao Algarve earlier this season.


and, yes, we’re back in to that as England embark in the T20 World Cup with their first Group match against the West Indies on Wednesday. The competition actually started last week with the 8 non-Test playing nations taking part in Group stages with Bangladesh and Afghanistan getting through to the main competition, much to the dismay of Ireland ( surprisingly, no wins from 3) and Scotland (1 win from 3). Judging by England’s two recent pre-tournament matches which resulted in two wins but more importantly good batting displays from Root, Vince, Roy and Buttler as well as good bowling stints from their front-line bowlers Rashid and Jordan, it augurs well but won’t be easy as they are in a group that contains South Africa, the West Indies and Sri Lanka so are going to have to go some to make the Semis.


Don’t forget, as if I have to remind you, Mr Wilson and friends at Stevie D’s Special St Patrick’s week, ’tis Cheltenham this week which brings back fond memories for me as, back in the day, when I had a proper job in the UK, my company, based in said town of my birth, had a luxury box at our local race track up on the Downs and used to entertain clients, especially our favourite Irish ones on the Thursday. So, have a great Festival and no tips from me, altho’ would be interesting to see how ex-World Champion and Olympic Gold winner on 2 wheels Victoria Pendleton goes on 4 legs! Otherwise, good luck with all your punts and here’s to your favourite gee-gees winning lotsa dosh!


T’was FA Cup Quarter Final w/end and joy for Crystal Palace, Everton and Watford as they won through, all 3 deservedly I might add, the Eagles after a 2-0 win at Reading, the Toffees after a pulsating 2-0 win at Goodison over Chelsea, which was marred by 2 red cards, one to serial offender Diego Costa and one to Gareth Barry but featured a superb brace from Romelu Lukaku, the first a fine solo effort and the 2nd a screamer and the Wolves, rather surprisingly, 2-1 over a lack-lustre Arsenal at the Emirates featuring a stunning 30 yard Watford winner. In the last match, honours even at OT as Man U drew 1-1 with fired up West Ham, with the Hammers looking favourites to join the rest in the Semis, the draw which takes place tonight after my deadline, but no doubt, Our Ed can hold back and include it before going to press! My tip, an Everton/West Ham Final but then what do I know!

T’was also Europe last week and it was adios to Chelsea in the Champions Cup as they were beaten by a very strong Paris SG, 2-1 at the Bridge, going out 4-2 on agg, but, I tell you what, any other side that comes up against PSG had better watch out as, having won the French Ligue (by only 25 points with 6 matches to go!) on Sunday with a 9-0 thumping of Mainz, their focus is certainly on the CL and you can add the Parisian’s to favourites Barca, Bayern and Real Madrid so, Man City, playing Tuesday at the Etihad with a 3-1 advantage over Kiev, you have been warned! No such luck for Arsenal, trailing 2-0 from the first leg, as they’re going to have to go an awful lot with at least 3 goals and possibly more at the Camp Nou against Barca on Wednesday but “bon suerte” to Mnsr Wenger.

In the Europa knockout stage, shame on you Sñr Pochettino, as he put out an understrength Tottenham side at in-form Dortmund (only 5 points behind Bayern in the Bundesliga) and paid the price as they were thumped 3-0 while Liverpool took on Man U at Anfield and now take a 2-0 advantage to OT on Thursday. So, by my reckoning, Europe will only have 2 English sides left in by Friday, Man City in the CL and Liverpool or Man U in the Europa, altho’ my 50 centimos is on the Griffon and Herr Klopp in that one!

Finally, the Premier League continued at the w/end as well, and both leaders Leicester and Tottenham, in 2nd, from the Top 4 were the real winners as Man City dropped points yet again, drawing rather feebly 0-0, at Naaarwich to now be 9 points behind the leaders while Tottenham made up for their calamitous European experience with a 2-0 away win against Aston Villa to be only 2 points behind. Leicester play their game in hand tonight, hoping to increase their lead to 5 points again, against lowly Newcastle, where McLaren was sacked (’bout time too(n), gettit!) and replaced incredibly quickly by Rafa Benitez, which, actually I wholeheartedly agree with as if anybody can get the Magpies out of the pooh, it’s Rafa! Elsewhere, Southampton are coming in to a bit of late form as they won 2-1 at Stoke and Bournemouth won for the 3rd time in a row to beat Swansea 3-2 at home and bar a calamity, ensured PL footie for next season, a great achievement for young English manager Eddie Howe

That’s all for this week, Jezza

Late News

Manchester City reached the quarter-finals of the Champions League for the first time despite a lethargic second leg goalless draw against Dynamo Kiev.

City, 3-1 up from the first leg, were in control of the tie but lost centre-backs Vincent Kompany and Nicolas Otamendi to injury early on.

In a slow-paced first half, neither side threatened a shot on target.

Jesus Navas hit the post with a low drive in the second half for City and Yaya Toure shot straight at the keeper.

They will want to avoid Barcelona in the draw for the next round – should the holders complete the job against Arsenal on Wednesday after our print deadline – having been knocked out by the current Spanish champions in each of the last two seasons.

Pool League

Beating us in our own league, again! Congratulations to The Boulevard Spaniards who win the Ibizan Pool league for the 3rd year running after their 6-3 win away at Smugglers D.O.G.s

Competition in the league is not over yet with past champions The Fish and The Ship looking to stop Father Jacks achieving what would be their best ever finish.

And in the cup, slick stick chick pounds limp dick. That’s all we have to say about that, else we might be loosing one of our advertisers.

The Guide




Gas Price Drops to 12,46€ from March 15th

The price of fuel and energy has been reduced gradually over the last year. It didn’t feel like that long ago that the price of a gas bottle was at its highest of approximately 17 euro.

However, with prices on the Consumer Price Index falling now for two months in a row, particularly in food items and fuel and energy, it’s only natural that you should now be paying out slightly less for your energy requirements.

A recent press release from the Department of Industry, Energy and Tourism has informed citizens that the maximum price consumers should currently pay for a standard gas bottle is 12,46 euro, with tax included. This came into force yesterday, Tuesday 15 March.

And this means that the cost since the last revision, when the price was fixed at 13,1 euro, has dropped by 5%. Prices are revised every two months and are calculated according to international values.

The fact that raw material on the international market and freight costs have fallen by 23% and 24.7% in price has produced the reduction in the cost of our gas bottles here.

In actual fact, the cost of a gas bottle has slowly been reduced since March 2015, and now registers at more than 5 euro cheaper than a year ago.

And according to sources in the sector, 5% is the maximum amount of discount that can be applied by law, which means that from this point a surplus will be generated and the excess can be applied to revisions in the future. This will ensure that prices are kept to a minimum for the immediate future at least.

With this latest drop in price, the downward trend continues once more after a short blip in January, where the first increase in the price since May 2013 was recorded.

The next revision of prices will take place on 17 May, as under the new system of calculating gas prices, data is taken on every third Tuesday of each odd month. This will affect around 8 million consumers who use gas bottles in their homes.

Information supplied with kind assistance of On The Pulse Of Spain—a great resource for legal , administrative and property matters.