No less than the Armenia News have reported the appearance in Ibiza of Ecstasy pills formed in the shape of Donald Trump. 

The bright orange pills are said to have been seen in Glastonbury and now Ibiza, which is convenient for editors looking to include those magic words in an effort to push up their clicks. And just for the record, yes, in part we hate ourselves for republishing, but Trump shaped orange pills, c’mon, how could we not?  

The Trump Tabs are made in Amsterdam say the Armenian media, quoting the Daily Mail, whoever they are. The report continues to say they are on sale for 1,200€ per 1,000 pills. Can’t be that super strong then can they? Or am I missing something? Perhaps you don’t take a thousand at once?

In worrying developments a group of double droppers were seen attempting to erect a wall around San Antonio. Fortunately one of the hapless wreck-heads realised they were were from San Antonio and their erectile ambitions floundered like a fish full of amphetamine. 

Local people are being told to remain vigilant following rumours of a new synthetic Ketamine hitting the streets. Known as Boris Johnson’s Ravey Powder, the new posh nose nosh is said to send users into a blind hypnotic state beyond the ability to reason or apply any rational thought. Scientists say use of Johnson’s Powder has reached epidemic proportions in much of the UK.   

Look out kids, and don’t take drugs.  You don’t want to end up like your mum and dad do you?


Editorial Comment: Though we are making light of the media involvement, we have been advised by a most worthy and reliable source that the Trump Pills were tested in 2018 to be 3 times the usual adult strength. So if they do turn up here, definitely do take care.