Ibiza News 860


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The Ibizan 860 ~ 25 May 2017

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Ibiza’s Best & Worst

  • 10th International Music Summit opens
  • Resident assaulted after complaining of excess late night noise at bar.

Ibiza has always been an island of many faces. In this week’s edition we lead with reports highlighting the very best and very worst of the global success story that is ‘brand Ibiza’.

IMS Opens

The International Music Summit is an example of brand Ibiza being developed in the most positive way.

Having continually developed from its origins in 2008, it attracts the biggest artists and industry talent for a series of workshops and presentations covering topics at the forefront of the electronic music industry. In doing so it helps ensure Ibiza maintains the islands dominant position in the music industry.

This year sees a notable prominence of IMS events designed to ‘give something back’ and also encourage new and upcoming talent.

The organisers must be congratulated, and as ever the summit concludes with a party in the Dalt Vila that many local people look forward to regardless of any connection to the music industry.

‘Chinawhite’s’ Assault

As far away from the positivity of IMS as is possible to imagine, we report on the experience of a resident member of our community who was verbally abused and assaulted by the staff of a bar when she objected to their blatantly flouting noise abatement regulations.

Louise Donaghy has lived and worked in Ibiza for sometime. She is manager of a restaurant in San Antonio and lives in the West End.

In frustration at a bar close to her accommodation constantly failing to close their doors at midnight, she took the step of going to the bar at 3am to take video evidence of their continuance to play loud music with the doors open.

An individual member of staff is seen in the video touting for business on the street outside the bar. He did not take kindly to Louise’s self help and can be seen on the video verbally abusing her and at one stage aggressively shouting at her to ‘Fuck Off’ complete with a middle finger hand gesture, and calling her a Bitch.

Louise is heard saying several times saying she is a resident and cannot sleep because of the open door, and the video ends when the individual swings his arm toward the camera and at least knocks the camera from her—though it is unclear from the film if he struck her.

Left shocked by the incident, Louise posted the video on social media the following morning commenting,  “assaulted outside my own home in the west end. This needs to change and stop. Music blaring out of open doors at 3am and threatened its not on. Thank you to the new police team one phone call and responded in minutes.”

Louise received a huge amount of support from those commenting with most people shocked at the behaviour of the PR.

Not everybody was as sympathetic with some stating that if you choose to live in the west end you should expect noise. Louise pointed out however that the regulations applicable in the west end require that bars close their doors at midnight, and that she should not have to move because of the anti-social disregard of the local community by an individual business.

The bar in question is named Chinawhite’s, however despite the piece of red carpet and velvet rope it is not thought that they have any connection to the famous London nightclub of the same name—we have contacted Chinawhite’s in London and are awaiting a reply.

The man in question has identified himself as Braiss Ahmed, who made an unrepentant response to the video on facebook. He said, (in reply to another comment)  “Bro everyone know that but they cant say it because they have to show to the people we are the bad ones. But the time will tell. And from here I tell everyone thing I did something bad. He think he’s a real man come to see me where I am, then he can say whatever he want…that’s if he can talk after that.”

Louise has put the matter in the hands of solicitors.


Can Misses Staff Shortages In  Accident & Emergency

  • The Hospital should have 35 doctors this summer, but there are only 28 in employment and only 20 of these are available full time.

Following the departure of 6 doctors giving a total of 7 posts vacant, Ibiza and Formentera medical director Pedro Fernandez has described the situation as “worrisome”. Speaking with head of service Maria De Los Angeles Lecinena, they explained that with 3 of the 6 doctors having left very recently the situation is becoming extremely serious.

The medical chiefs said that the situation was in large part due to Balearic legislation which allows doctors to resign their posts to take another inside the same IB Salut, something that is prohibited for nurses and other medical staff.

Ever decreasing circle

There is fear that the situation could become even worse. Making their announcement at a medical conference this week, they warned that with these doctors leaving because accident and emergency is an unattractive position for doctors, the additional pressure the vacant posts will inevitably create will making working in that department even more difficult and so less attractive to the remaining doctors “we cannot rule out that further resignations will occur in coming weeks”.


The medical director acknowledged the general difficulty of attracting staff in local  jobs however described the emergency situation as extreme. Fernandez said that the “care of patients who attend the emergency department is guaranteed”.

One measure that has been adopted to mitigate the lack of doctors in post is asking the Can Misses hospital specialist doctors and family physicians to undertake emergency cover.

In closing the director said that if it was not possible to attract more doctors to the accident and emergency department, management would have to adopt “drastic” measures, though no detail was given as to what form these would take.

Campaign To Steer Tourists Away From Accident & Emergency

The health authority has announced an information campaign advising tourists to attend their local health centre as their initial source of medical assistance .

The campaign will be supported by the distribution of 20000 leaflets in three languages—Spanish, Catalan and English – around the islands hotels with the aim of reducing the burden on the main Can Misses Accident and Emergency unit during the peak summer months.

The leaflets detail the location and opening times of health centres and highlight that they can also be used by tourists and workers who need to make an appointment for a non urgent health matter.

“during the summer the demand for healthcare increases by between 25-30%” said head of Can Misses emergency department. “most choose to go to the hospital accident and emergency despite the fact most situations could be resolved in the local primary health centres.”



San Jose And New Balearic Coastal Tsar Pledge No Privatisation Of Ibiza’s Coastline

  • The mayor and delegate agreed that all attempts to privatise the public domain coastline must be avoided.
  • The mayor presented a document containing details of incidents and breaches identified by the San Jose council.

San Jose mayor, Josep Mari Ribas, met with the new delegate of coastal demarcation in the Balearic islands, Carlos Simarro on Wednesday morning. The purpose was to address several priority issue in the municipality relating to attempts to privatise coastal areas, specifically coastal property owners attempting to restrict public access along the shoreline, and also consolidation of cliffs suffering erosion and other environmental protection measures.

Simarro will work in a partnership with the council to establish priorities and put measures and procedures n place as appropriate.

Among the specific topics discussed were the urgent need to address the risk on landslides at the cliffs of Cala d’Hor, Sa Caleta, Platges de Comte and Bol Nou.

The meeting, which was also attended by deputy mayor Angel Lluis Guerrero and councillor for the environment Neus Mari, also discussed the need to improve the protection of the dune areas of Cala Comte, Ses Salines and Playa d’en Bossa, and repairs required to the jetty’s at Cala de Bou and Port des Torrent which are said to be in a very poor condition.


Drug Dealer Punched Policeman In Effort To Escape Arrest

  • The man was arrested whilst trying to sell a tourist 5 ecstacy pills.

Sant Antoni local police detained a 26yr old man at around dawn on Wednesday 24th May. The undercover police witnessed the transaction in progress on the Paseo de Ses Fonts. When they intervened and identified themselves as police officers the man hit the agents, however he was unable to escape and having immobilised him was taken into custody.


West End Police Assault

In a separate incident to the drug arrest above, an undercover policeman approached a group of 3  individuals in San Antonio west end at 5.20am. The reason for his intervention is not stated. One of the 3 men punched the policeman and attempted to escape the scene, however the man was apprehended when 2 uniformed officers came to  their colleagues aid.



Counterfeiting Arrest

  • Man arrested with 82 counterfeit banknotes hidden in his shoes.
  • The detainee has involvement with criminal group, and record of robbery with violence.

National police have issued details of an arrest this week in which a man was found to be concealing 82 fake 20€ notes in the sole of one of his shoes.

According to the statement issued, the man is an Italian with a history of robbery with violence and other criminal acts and is thought to be a member of an organised crime gang.

He was arrested by a police patrol in Ibiza city centre as part of an operation launched in light of an increase in the circulation of counterfeit money.

The national police said that an increase in the use of counterfeit notes during the tourist season is a serious problem.


Ibiza Airport Cleaner’s Strike Ends, Quick Clean Up & Guarantees of Back Pay

  • Aena and cleaning contractor KLE reach an agreement to pay two of the payrolls that are owed to the workers
  • Cleaners vote to return to work 7.30am Tuesday morning

Ibiza airport’s cleaning workers to end their strike action and return to work with immediate effect. The decision was taken by a majority vote at a union meeting Monday night.

Their decision is taken following guarantees of payments of wages owed to them for the last 4 months.

Airport operators, the state owned AENA group held a meeting with private cleaning company KLE in Palma, where it was agreed that wages owed for April and May would be paid to workers ‘this week’. This agreement was confirmed by Miguel Pardo, General Secretary of the staff union CCOO.

The remaining wages due will be paid to workers under a scheme known as Fogasa, the wage guarantee fund. This backdated pay will be made as soon as possible and it is understood all required documentation has been submitted, meaning that payments can be made without the delay necessary of taking the case through the law courts.

A spokesperson for the cleaners said they would be returning to work from 7.30 a.m. Tuesday morning, though it will inevitably take some time to return the airport to normal standards of cleanliness.

Ed: Well done the cleaners, you fought your corner with dignity & determination, I think we will all view you a little differently in future. Many people have commented on the speed of the clean up too, clearly undertaken with pride and without resentment.


Cala Vadella Building Work Complaints

  • Local businesses object to city council works during the tourist season

Local traders in Cala Vadella have expressed their objection to works being undertaken by the city council that are having a detrimental effect of tourism in the area.

The works are being undertaken along the beachfront and involve the installation of a water pipeline. Speaking to the Diario de Ibiza an owners of one of the businesses affected, Antonia Riera, complained about the consequences of the works which she said are preventing her from even accessing the business “the worst of it is that no-one even warned us it would be happening” said Riera.

The council replied by assuring the works would be completed in a matter of days.



Consell Launch Free Legal Housing Rights Service

  • The service will cover problems with rental contracts, mortgages and any other housing issues, with special assistance to those considered vulnerable or at risk of social exclusion

Announcing the launch of the service which is available form next week, Ibiza Consell vice president and minister fro housing Viviana de Sans said “this service prioritises the rights of Ibiza’s most vulnerable people”.

The initiative is collaborating with the voluntary lawyers of PAH Ibiza (Platform for those affected by mortgages), Sans said “these are the most specialised and experienced lawyers on the island”.

Eduard Clavel, one of those lawyers working for PAH has been appointed and so will be providing the service from the outset.

Commencing May 30th the office will be open every Tuesday and Thursday from 08:30-14:00. During August, they will be open Wednesdays only from 09:00-14:00.

Anybody seeking assistance can contact the office by telephone from Monday May 29th, Monday to Friday from 09:00-14:00.

Telephone 686350616

The offices will be located on the first floor of the Consell headquarters in Avenue de Espana in Ibiza Town, alongside the existing IBAVI and Social Housing Information Service.

This free service covers all municipalities.


PP Walk Out Of Ibiza Town Council Session

The conservative Popular Party Councillors objected to comments by Ibiza Town mayor relating to outstanding corruption cases faced by PP politicians.

In what has been an ongoing case of handbags at  dawn, Ibiza town mayor Rafa Ruiz had a direct response to jibes made in the full Ibiza Town council meeting on Thursday.

Ribas said that the PP could soon form its own group in the Valencian prison of Picassent.

The ‘joke’ clearly did not go down well with the PP conservative councillors present who promptly got up and walked out of the meeting.

The PP called an immediate press conference with spokesmen Virgina Mari stating that Ruiz’s comments “show that he is not prepared for the position of mayor”, continuing to criticise the tone of the debate that has been present in recent municipal sessions.

Mayor Ruiz responded by stating that his comments were made in the context of a debate within the confines of the council session, but said anyway that it is correct that the PP is besieged by corruption cases with several of its members imprisoned. “among them is an ex president of the Ibiza PP party”.

He then went on to speak of apologies being due for behaviour in the last council session when a councillor turned their back on another speaking, however he had to end there as it was realised that it was the councillors milk and nap time.


“For Each Legal Boat In Ibiza, There Are Three Illegal”

  • Industry representatives state that the charter sector is growing by 25% a year but is attracting increasing illegal activity.

In a statement by the president of the Nautical Charter Commission, Jose Maria Jimenez, a list of problems associated to the booming charter rental sector have been detailed.

Included among the issues are that of an increase on unregulated and unregistered charter services, a shortage of moorings and with it, a sharp increase in the cost of moorings which are beginning to echo Ibiza’s housing situation in becoming prohibitive to local boat owners.

Jimenez states that the number of boats available for rent has grown by 25% this year and that charter companies based in Greece and Turkey are now flocking to the island due to the scent of tourist boom.

The president aid that far from all of the new arrivals are illegal and pointed towards some of the largest multinationals in the industry now having operations in Ibiza.

According to Jimenez the situation is causing problems throughout the Balearics however Ibiza is suffering the most dramatic effects. He says that for each legal boat two or three are working illegally. Comparing this to Majorca, Jimenez said the situation there was more like one to one legal to illegal.

This boom in charter rentals, or more specifically in the availability of boats, is leading to two problems he says. “firstly competition is growing to such exorbitant levels that the turnover achieved by companies dedicated to chartering is falling by up to 30% in some areas. So despite increased interest in chartering the proliferation of available boats has resulted in a reduction in income as the local and regulated charter companies have to reduce their prices to be competitive against the outsiders”.

The second issue is access to moorings “the increase in demand for moorings is beyond the current availability” he explained “this means many boats are forced to anchor outside ports due to a lack of space, and many marinas are taking advantage of the situation to raise their prices to levels that are difficult for local companies and local boat owners to afford.”.


25yr Old Woman With No Driving Licence Tested Positive For Cocaine Crashes Classic Ferrari  Into Lorry At Jesus And Tries To Flee Ibiza In A Private Jet With Unchivalrous Sheik

Ibiza’s Civil Guard intercepted a 25yr old Austrian woman as she was about to flee Ibiza in a private jet shortly after she had crashed a valuable classic Ferrari into a lorry at the Jesus auto pista intersection.

The driver was found not to possess a valid driving licence and also tested positive for cocaine. She was arrested and charged with two offences following the accident in which no one was harmed. Police said she was attempting to flee along with the owner of the Ferrari, a man of Saudi nationality with domicile in London.

The accident occurred at the Jesus roundabout at 20:45. according to information provided by the traffic police, the classic Ferrari which is registered on British plates crashed into the truck causing damage to the vehicle. Both occupants left the scene and by the time traffic police arrived, a man was in attendance who said he was in charge of the vehicle. He is said to be in the employment of the Saudi who has a house in the vicinity of Parroig in the municipality of San Jose. It was due to information provided by several witnesses who said they had heard the driver and passenger talk about an airplane that the police were tipped off to their intention to flee.

The police went immediately to Ibiza airport and discovered that the imminent departure of a private jet had been arranged by the Ferrari owner, and that one of those travelling was a young woman matching the description of the driver given by witnesses at the scene of the accident.

She was tested and found to be positive for cocaine and negative for alcohol. It was fond she did not possess a driving licence and she was detained and transferred to Ibiza’s traffic detachment who will instruct judicial proceedings for two crimes against road safety.

She was then released on evidence that she is a citizen of the EU and has residence and a home in Ibiza.

It seems that chivalry was lost on her companion who had departed Ibiza on the jet leaving her behind to face the music.

  • The 1960’s Ferrari Dino convertibles are among the most sought after cars from the period and command a from price of around 500,000€, however rare models and those with famous owner connections can command sums well into 7 figures.

Food & Drink

Steak & Shake

  • Playa D’en Bossa

The Burger. It’s basically bread, beef and a bit of salad, so how is it that the humble hamburger has so many varieties and can either be the snack of the gods or the worst  truck stop artery clogger? I think that to fully appreciate the complexities of the modern burger, we need to step back in time and quickly explore the meat-alution of the Western World’s favourite snack.

Like with most things, the Americans are insistent that they invented the hamburger way back in the 19th century. Contrary to this assumption, there is evidence from cookbooks and historic writings that Romans, Mongols and Germanic Tribes used to combine beef and bread (with salad) as a ‘fast food’ snack for soldiers on the move. The Mongols even used to cook their meat by placing it under the saddle and cooking with the friction of the ride. But we’ll ignore recorded history like most Americans do and give credit to the good old U. S. of A. If they didn’t invent it, they have certainly claimed the burger as their own.

The ‘modern’ hamburger, that is a burger not cooked using a galloping horse, has been in force since around 1885 and apparently came into being when an industrious young chap somewhere in the hinterlands put ‘hamburg’ meat (a soft meat patty recipe introduced to the U.S. by German immigrants) between bread as one of his customers was in a rush.

Roughly 50 years later in 1934, and the brilliantly named Gus Belt founded Steak ‘n Shake in Illinois. His concept was to sell the finest burgers and shakes at a time when the hamburger was no longer a snack on the move, but something to be savoured. He even used to wheel in barrels of steaks and grind the meat in front of his customers to prove how ‘prime’ the ingredients were.

Another 80 years on and Steak ‘n Shake is now firmly established throughout America and is currently expanding into Europe, more specifically into Playa d’en Bossa. The ‘joint’ is smack bang in the middle of the party strip consisting of Ushuaia and Space, and is not hard to spot as the big red front looms into view.

Steak …

I wander up to the ordering till and quickly ponder my options. It seems only right that I should order the signature double cheeseburger with a strawberry shake, and the gorgeous manager Vanesa kindly explains to me that the UFO contraption that I have been given will buzz and light up when the food is ready.

The contraption starts bleeping and dancing around the table, along with about five others in the restaurant. I see a game forming in my head, but decide against going down that road and go collect my grub. I start off with the fries, and they are crisp and still have bits of skin on – the sure sign of a chip with class.

… ‘n Shake

Onto the shake, it’s thick and cold and delicious with whipped cream and layers of crunchy sweet stuff sprinkled on top. My only advice here is to take your time as it’s amazing how quickly your brain can freeze when chugging down an ice cold shake.

And now onto the main star of the show, the burger itself, and it’s what you expect from an institution that’s been doing this for 80 odd years. The meat is soft and dripping with juice, the cheese is even softer and the salad is crisp and fresh. It’s the bun though that wins it for me, both soft and crunchy at the same time. Before I know it I’ve finished and I’m absolutely stuffed. Did people really eat this on the move as a nutritional snack? I’m not sure I can stand-up for at least 10 minutes let alone ride a horse. I’m actually quite content with just digesting the food and digesting the interesting sights of Playa d’en Bossa walking past, and my lordy there are some interesting sights indeed. Actually I might get another shake…


At Night

Cuckoo Land: Ibiza Rocks

  • Words and Photo Claire B

Last Sunday saw the opening of the new Sunday afternoon pool party at the Ibiza Rocks Hotel with Do Not Sleep presenting Cuckoo Land. The venue was transformed for the occasion with lots of inflatable horses and pelicans in the pool and beach balls whilst there were inflatable clouds, birds and butterflies overhead and the DJs played from a giant bird cage in the middle of the venue. Malibu were giving away piña coladas to get the party started, which it did, with people enjoying the sunshine, the pool and the music. The venue looked great and quickly filled up with happy partygoers. On now every Sunday from 2pm until September 24.

This year Ibiza Rocks has a Season Pass for residents and workers, which as well as giving discounts on drinks, food and other things at Ibiza Rocks venues, it also gives free entry to all the Cuckoo Land, We Are Rockstars and Carnival pool parties and discounts on other events.


Ibiza Rocks

  • Claire B

Ibiza Rocks Hotel is now open for business. There’s a lot of change to the weekly schedule this year at the venue, with more events and parties than in previous years.

Live concerts will take place on select Tuesdays throughout July, August and September, starting on July 4. Confirmed headliners at Ibiza Rocks Hotel include Stormzy, Dua Lipa, Clean Bandit, Bastille and The Kooks plus a very special show from Primal Scream at Pikes.

We Are Rockstars (W.A.R.) moves to Thursday afternoons around the pool in June and July, before Craig David’s TS5 Pool Party takes over from the end of July to September.

There will be 2 Elrow Pool parties on Tuesday 8 and 22 in August. These are the line-ups that have been announced so far, with more to come.

Tuesdays from 04/07 – 05/09

04/07: Ibiza Rocks Opening Party with Royal Blood | Black Honey

11/07: Stormzy #MERKY Festival – 10 hours day to night

18/07: Dua Lipa

25/07: Clean Bandit | Mullally

01/08: Bastille | Rationale

29/08: Primal Scream at PIKES

05/09: Ibiza Rocks Closing Party with The Kooks – Best Of Show | Fickle Friends

Tuesdays 08/08 and 22/08

Elrow Pool Party – line-up coming soon

Thursdays 01/06 – 13/07

We Are Rockstars Presents (5 events) and Toddla T’s Ibiza Rocks Carnival (2 events):

01/06: We Are Rockstars Presents JamPacked with Mistajam | My Nu Leng | MJ Cole | Stefflon Don| Patrick Nazemi

08/06: We Are Rockstars Presents Sleepin Is Cheatin with Tom Zanetti & KO Kane | Mist | Preditah | Cause & Affect | Patrick Nazemi

15/06: Toddla T’s Ibiza Rocks Carnival with Lethal Bizzle | Toddal T | The Heatwave | Nadia Rose

22/06: We Are Rockstars Presents Example & DJ Wire | TQD | Crazy Cousinz | Holf Goof |The Dream Team | Patrick Nazemi

29/06: Toddla T’s Ibiza Rocks Carnival with Sean Paul | Toddla T | Donae’o | Drs | Coco

06/07: We Are Rockstars Presents Sigma | Charlie Sloth and DJ Target | Devlin | Patrick Nazemi

13/07: We Are Rockstars Presents Wilkinson | Redlight | J Hus | Cadenza | Patrick Nazemi,

Thursdays from 20/07 – 21/09

Craig David’s TS5 Pool Party – support talent to be announced soon.

Sundays 21/05 – 24/09

Do Not Sleep Presents Cuckoo Land with Darius Syrossian, Route 94, Huxley, Sonny Federa, Ben Pearce, Detlef, Latmun, Pirupa, Doorly, Citizenn, Max Champman, Josh Butler, Theo Kottis, Pirate Copy, Mihalis Safras, Jamie Roy, Jey Kurmis, Ten Story, Faction DJs.



Defected Opening: Eden

  • Nick Gibbs

You know when you are looking forward to something you can start to build up an expectation? If it’s something you’re really looking forward to, you run the risk of building up an unrealistic expectation. Well when it is a whole host of things you are looking forward to in one package there is a real risk of those hopes ending up in the same tatters as an 8 year old on Christmas morning who sent Santa a list of every toy in the shop.

In my world Defected opening at Eden had all this.  My first club night out of a new season. One of my all-time favourite labels. Playing at one of my favourite clubs on the opening night of a year in which we Edenists (it’s a thing) have great expectation.

So it crossed my mind more than once in the days leading up to Sunday whether Santa would be stuffing my stocking?

T’was the night before Christmas

Defected Decades

Good old Santa Simon (Dunmore). He didn’t disappoint. It was fantastic to see Eden bouncing on both floors and the oh-so-glorious Void system belting out the beats for what felt like a new influx of party people.

My Defected history goes back to the days of Shapeshifters releasing ‘At Night’ to the dawn rising casualties of El Divino in the very early noughties.

It includes a season of Blaze featuring Barbara Tucker’s ‘Most Precious Love’ being the trigger that took Bora Bora from afternoon chill to bouncing thrills (n things rhyming with chill and thrill), and it was the label that put Sanchez on a premium Pacha pedestal that would just not Release Me (see what I did there?) from its Balearic beat.

So you get it? I quite like Defected.

Main Room: Divine Witchcraft

With this background, head honcho Dunmore’s appearance seemed more worthy of a salute than arms in the air  – quite fitting he should be here to kick Defected’s new Eden era off.

Beyond that I have never been much for keeping track on who’s playing when—as long as the music is good, I’d much rather be lost in the moment.

However I did come away wondering how Sam Divine had somehow bewitched me into enjoying ‘Love Shy’. That don’t make a lick of sense no it don’t.

Next: Manu Gonzalez (not)

Unfortunately my lack of concentration meant that I missed out on local lad Manu Gonzalez playing in the backroom (a.k.a. Next). I hope that plenty of the new faces* didn’t make my mistake and were able to catch a real rising star.

Manu is one of our own—I don’t think for a moment he is the kind of guy who would object to the smaller stage, but I doubt it will be much longer that promoters will allow him to play it.

*re ‘new faces’ – it is very hard to qualify that they were new, but it felt new, they felt like a new crowd, and judging by the number of people who asked me where the smoking terrace was, at least all the nicotine craved ravers must have been new. BTW my apologies to any of them reading this as I discovered on leaving that the way out to the roof terrace had been changed to a completely different area of the club, so I had been sending them on wild goose chases all night. Moral of that story is don’t trust a bloke just because he’s holding a camera.

Come Back, Ninetoes

The night also gave me my first stand out track of the year. A tune that kept coming back to me, catchy enough to get big but with enough quality that you won’t be wincing when you hear it come September. ‘Come Back’ by Ninetoes is hereby my first predicted 2017 big tune.


Of course the trouble with Christmas is that you have to wait a whole year for your stocking to be refilled, but Santa Simon’s Defected DJs will be popping presents under our trees all summer long.

Ho Ho Ho.


Community & Agenda


25th May 2017— 31st May 2017

ARIES – Ace of Swords

You’ve reached a milestone in life and can now carry out the plans you’ve been thinking out.  If at times it’s all been a bit too much and you’ve almost given up on your dream; don’t. This card promises success if you have the right mental attitude and that you have to have a backbone not a wishbone to succeed.

TAURUS – The Tower

If you thought life was slowing down to a nice even pace, think again.  The Tower shakes up the norm and challenges us to see life from a different perspective.  Change is in the air; if you’ve been complacent in either a job or relationship, you will ‘wake up’ to a different reality this week. Get out of your rut!

GEMINI – Ace of Wands

Anything started now has the sweet smell of success written all over it.  It’s time to showcase your talents as important people are watching; the social media savvy amongst you will do well; ‘I can do it’, should be your mantra. Mixing business with pleasure might well pay off, as you will be attracted to a new face in town.

CANCER – Knight of Swords

You’ve plenty of creative ideas right now, plus will to manifest them into reality but you need to act fast.  Confronting those who are lazy or have a sense of entitlement will give you great pleasure; if there’s a confrontation to be had, you’re more than prepared to battle it out.   Just don’t overreact and take things too far.

LEO – Three of Swords

Two’s company, three’s a crowd; as the saying goes, which brings tension with certain friends, relationships, business colleagues and family meaning you’ll have your fair share of challenges to deal with. Someone’s self-interest gets in the way of your ambitions; maybe they are unaware that they are crossing the line by trying to steal your limelight. Time fight your corner.

VIRGO – The Lovers

One would assume this card is good for love and yes to a certain degree, it is.  It’s also about choosing a life that we feel passionate about and how we don’t need to put up with the boring or mundane.  Choice is the big theme; between who we love, where we live or what we do for a living.

LIBRA – Transformation

Changes are inevitable this week as some doors close in certain areas of your life. This does mean however, that new doors will open offering a different set of opportunities; so don’t think negatively about your new circumstances. We don’t realise until after events unfold that we are actually better off and one particular path is best left anyway.

SCORPIO – Page of Cups

This week you’ll feel more emotionally secure than you have for some time and are able to be more objective in close relationships. You’re more than willing to accept that nobody’s perfect and are therefore more willing to compromise readily over matters that were sticking points a few weeks ago. Your giving nature is appreciated and well rewarded this week.

SAGITTARIUS – King of Cups

Kind, generous, wise people help you to get the most out of this week.  You’re bowled over by those who have no agenda but to make your life considerably easier. A big event could happen and you’re closer to fulfilling a dream; all heart-warming stuff! Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces men are your best friends or lovers, so check them out!

CAPRICORN – Three of Wands

Think outside the box and broaden your horizons this week.  There’s lots of fiery energy with this card so you are in no mood to be complacent regarding future career prospect.  If you’ve been stuck in a rut; do some research and look into where your next move is.  For some it could mean a completely different environment or country.

AQUARIUS – King of Swords

You’re not in the mood to take any prisoners this week but it would serve you best if you remained cool, logical and detached from drama’s.  Events or people may be challenging; but make sure you have your all facts right if you have to make a judgement call this week.  Air sign Men, Gemini, Libra and Aquarius make good allies.

PISCES – Nine of Pentacles

Worrying about money will not draw it closer, in fact it can block the flow of money energy coming your way.  Take a look at the areas of your life where you are abundant.  Good friends, job, family etc. are worth more than gold.  This card does promise financial success, provided you’ve the right attitude and share your good fortune.


View From The Pew

  • Dr Peter Pimentel

“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.”  These famous words come from the wonderful poem to love in the Bible (1 Corinthians chapter 13).

The poem goes on to say that now, in this life, our knowledge of God is partial. We have bits and pieces of knowledge.  Now, in this life, we know God piecemeal through prophecy and tongues and mystical knowledge and other gifts of the Holy Spirit.  “Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end.”

Our knowledge of God in this life is reflected bit by bit through the spiritual gifts such as prophecy and mystical knowledge.  It is partial and sometimes obscure.  But it is the best we have this side of heaven.  “Now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then, when love is complete, we will see face to face”.  The word “dimly” translates a Greek word “ainigma” from which we get “enigma”.  And the Greek word means just that.  It carries the sense of “riddle”, something that is puzzling, an obscure saying”, an indirect communication, “enigma”.  This side of heaven through the spiritual gifts our knowledge of God is enigmatic.

In the next life, for the believer in Jesus, our knowledge of God is, “face to face”: “now we see in a mirror, enigmatically, then we will see face to face”.  Theologians would in time refer to this as the “beatific vision”.  To be face to face is not simply to be in the presence of someone but also to look directly – looking into each other’s eyes – in the way that lovers do.  Now, in this age, we have the spiritual gifts and we have love; but then, in the age to come, love will be complete and we will have face to face experience of God.

  • Service this Sunday 28th May 10.30am at the Chapel of Lourdes, Carrer Sant Jaume 85 (the main street), Santa Eulalia.
  • The English-Speaking Church on Ibiza & Formentera. See website for locations & information. Tel 971 343383




Sir Roger Moore, ‘James Bond’ Actor, Dies at 89 After Cancer Battle

  • As reported by NBC
  • Sir Roger Moore, who embodied the heartthrob swagger of the world’s most famous spy “James Bond” for a dozen years, has died in Switzerland after a short battle with cancer, his family said Tuesday in a statement posted to Twitter.

“It is with a heavy heart that we must announce our loving father, Sir Roger Moore, has passed away today in Switzerland after a short but brave battle with cancer,” his family’s statement read. “The love with which he was surrounded in his final days was so great it cannot be quantified in words alone.”


After replacing Sean Connery in the James Bond films, Moore played the infamous British spy from 1973 until 1985. He made his 007 debut in the film “Live and Let Die,” and last appeared as the suave secret agent in “A View to a Kill.” He was the longest serving Bond in the film’s series.

Moore began his acting career in the 1945 film “Caesar and Cleopatra,” and went on to attend the Academy of Dramatic Arts after director Brian Desmond Hurst noticed the young actor’s talent.

He paused his career at age 18 in order to serve in the military. After being stationed in Germany for nearly three years, he returned to London and to his acting career.

Moore would go on to star in the British television show “The Saint” from 1962 until 1968, which catapulted him to stardom, until his was selected to play Bond.

He embodied the world’s most famous double agent for the next 12 years, starring in “The Man with the Golden Gun” in 1974, “The Spy Who Loved Me” in 1977, “Moonraker” in 1979, “For Your Eyes Only” in 1981, “Octopussy” in 1983, and finally, “A View to a Kill” in 1985.

Worst Bond?

In 2008, Moore spoke to the Telegraph ahead of a then-upcoming Daniel Craig incarnation of Bond, and reflected on his own reception as 007.

“I’m the worst Bond, according to the internet. Generally hated! I was too funny, too light. Didn’t take it seriously enough,” he told the paper.

But he also didn’t mince words when describing to The Guardian how much he enjoyed his notoriety as the super spy.

“Being eternally known as Bond has no downside,” Moore said. “People often call me ‘Mr. Bond’ when we’re out, and I don’t mind a bit. Why would I?”

Moore also had roles in “Cannonball Run,” alongside actor Burt Reynolds in 1981, “Bullseye!” with Michael Caine in 1990, and the Spice Girls film “Spice World” in 1997.

In December 1985, Moore announced that he was retiring from the franchise and would no longer play Bond. He went on to write several books about the experience, including one based on a diary he kept during shooting.

“The affection our father felt whenever he walked on to a stage or in front of a camera buoyed him hugely and kept him busy working into his 90th year,” the family statement read. “The capacity crowd cheered him on and off stage, shaking the very foundations of the building just a short distance from where he was born.”

UNICEF Ambassador

In 1991, he became a UNICEF Goodwill ambassador, which his family said was one of his life’s passions.

“We know our own love and admiration will be magnified many times over, across the world, by people who knew him for his films, his television shows and his passionate work for UNICEF which he considered to be his greatest achievement,” his family’s statement reads.

Sir Moore

During his lifetime, Moore received numerous honours, including being made a Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire in 1999. In 2003, he was knighted by Queen Elizabeth II.

Moore reflected on his knighthood in an interview with The Guardian.

“The knighthood for my humanitarian work meant more than if it had been for my acting,” Moore said. “I’m sure some people would say, ‘What does an actor know about world issues?’ But [working for UNICEF] I’ve become an expert on things from the causes of dwarfism to the benefits of breastfeeding. I feel very privileged.”


Moore allegedly suffered numerous illnesses, according to Biography.com, including prostate cancer and diabetes. He was divorced three times.

Dozens of people, including celebrities, tweeted out their shock and condolences after learning that Moore had died.

The animal-rights group PETA also memorialized Moore’s death in a statement released on Tuesday.

“Sir Roger was always an inspiration to work with. He called out animal abuse with wit and charm, and PETA will continue campaigning to help the animals he cared so deeply about,” the statement from PETA’s Director of International Programs Mimi Bekhechi said.

According to Moore’s family, a private funeral will be held for him in Monaco.

“Thank you Pops for being you, and for being so very special to so many people,” a statement read.

He is survived by children Deborah Moore, Geoffrey Moore and Christian Moore, and his wife Kristina.


 Silent Observation for Manchester

Public offices throughout the islands held a minute of silence on Tuesday in acknowledgement and condolence for the victims of the Manchester bombing.

Pictured here the vigil held at the offices of Ibiza Consell, lead by the President.


Beats For Food Festival

  • ? Ibiza Town
  • ?Claire B

June 1st sees the Beats For Food festival in the port in aid of The Red Cross (Cruz Roja). This unique electronic music festival will bring together Ibiza’s best known DJs to help support the essential work of the Red Cross in Ibiza by collecting much needed food donations from the public. The idea for this benefit festival comes from one of Ibiza’s most loved and longest serving resident DJ’s, DJ Oliver who this year celebrates 25 years of DJing. What better way to celebrate than by hosting a huge party that serves to help the neediest people of the island that has given him such a long-lasting career. On the decks with DJ Oliver will be Oscar Colorado, DJ Pippi, Igor Marijuan, Anna Tur and César Del Rio, with more to be confirmed.

People are encouraged to take non-perishable food to donate (rice, pasta, tinned foods etc.) and it will also be possible to donate cash. Free. From 4pm until midnight.

On Facebook – Beats for Food Festival:



Formentera ‘Free’ Jazz Fusion Festival

  • Formentera Jazz Festival will run from 1 to 4 June.

La Plaça de Sant Francesc will once again hold the Festival’s grand stage and the Ses Eres Gardens will hold both the inaugural concert and workshops. The free singing workshops and recycled percussion workshops, both suitable for all ages, will take place on Friday and Saturday at 16:30.

  • The line-Up

The festival remains faithful in its desire to represent local and national talent. Representing the Balearics this year, FJF presents the Cuban jazz-rock of Ibiza residents, Norberto Rodríguez Band. At a national level are the Matic Valencians, with their electronic-jazz proposal led by Amadeo Moscardó, and the Madrid-based Antonio Lizana, in his personal search for flamenco-jazz.

Also notable this year are Viktorija Pilatovic, Mel Semé and special guests such Nesrine Belmokh, Carlos Sarduy and Ganavya Doraiswamy.

Finally, electronic music will again have its place. This year will be two great DJ’s – Nickodemus & Lina Una.


Art in the Port

  • Ibiza Town
  • Words and photos Claire B

There’s a fantastic exhibition of photographs along the port in Ibiza Town at the moment, by world-renowned Brazilian photographer Sebastião Salgado. Entitled ‘Génesis’ the exhibition is part of the program Arte en la Calle (Art in the Street), funded through La Caixa’s Obra Social programme in collaboration with the City of Ibiza, which aims to bring art to people outside the usual spaces of museums and exhibition halls.

Sebastião Salgado (born Brazil, 1944) is a social documentary photographer and photojournalist who travels widely for his projects. Genesis is his third long-term series on global issues, and the result of an eight-year worldwide survey to capture nature in its original state, with photographs of marine and wildlife, arctic and desert landscapes, tropical rainforests, seascapes and indigenous people, raising public awareness about the pressing issues of environmental and climate change.

The exhibition consists of 38 spectacular black and white photographs, which are mounted in large, metal sculptural frames which suspend the photos in a line along the edge of the port. The scale and location of the exhibition is stunning, but the photos are equally stunning in their own right. It’s well worth a visit. Until June 14.


Saturday 27 May


l Football Semi-Final – UD Ibiza v CE Sineu, Can Misses Stadium—18:30

Come and support your local team in their fight for promotion to Division 3. APIES will be holding a raffle with prizes including a signed Real Valladolid shirt, Marí Mayans products and a football from Deportes Marí. Free entry

l Dramatised Visits in Dalt Vila – 19:00

Every Saturday take a tour with audio guide round the Dalt Vila. Under 7s free, 7-16yrs 5€, adults 10€. Discounts for pensioners, families. A deposit of 30€ is required for audio guide lease. To book call 971399232 or email informacioturistica@eivissa.es

l Circle Of Trust Dance Workshop, Cas Serres classroom building—12:00 -14:00

In conjunction with ‘Nagare’ the dance company will offer the workshop from midday Saturday for teens between 12-16yrs. Those attending could win tickets to the show. To book call 680104856.

l ‘Nagare’, Cas Serres Auditorium – 21:00

Nagare is a joint project from Circle Of Trust Dance Company and video creators Logela Directed by Jorid Vilaseca, the show fuses street dancing and audio-visual techniques. Tickets 8€ in advance and 15€ box office. For information and reservations call 680 104 856 (Monday to Friday 9-13.30 and 17.30-19.30, Saturday from 9-13:00)

San Jose

l Opera Deep House, Can Jeroni– 20:30

With the soprano Irantzu Bartolomé and the last years students from Ibiza Blau Music supported by their professors. The spectacle will be accompanied by exclusive visual projections.

Monday 29 May


l Teatro Pereyra Live—23:00

Live music with Matteo Crocetti & Tonia Richardson and The Band.

Tuesday 30 May


l One Night With Julián Pérez, B12  – 23:00

Mum presents one night with the talented Julián Pérez  and Cape Jordan.

Thursday 1 June

Sant Carlos

l Rototom Launch Party, Las Dalias –  20:00

Reggae party with Emeterians & Forward Ever Band. Tickets 10€ see flyer for details

Ibiza Town

l Beats for Food—16:00-midnight

See article for details.

Friday 2 June

San Antonio

l ‘Viatges a Eivissa’ photography exhibition, Sa Punta des Moli – 17:00-20:00

Travel back in time with photos from the 1950s to present day by Pere Català i Roca. Exhibition open Tuesday-Saturday until June 17.



Amanda Zips It Up

  • Amanda O’Riordan

Welcome to this week’s ‘Bridal Special’ Zips It Up.

Following the OTT coverage of Pippa Middleton’s wedding last weekend, there’s no escaping this most romantic time of the year.

Most Saturdays from now until the autumn, will indeed be the best (or occasionally worst) day of many people’s lives. It can break the bank, just like Pippa’s – although I’m guessing Hello magazine might have contributed a few pennies.

In true Zips It Up fashion, I look at the affordable options, to ensure this special occasion doesn’t become a debt-entangled nightmare.

Whether you run away to Gretna Green, The Little White Chapel in Vegas or go barefoot on the beach in Ibiza, I’ve found the best selection of reasonably priced wedding dresses.

We also check out what wedding guests should be wearing too, because we’d hate to upstage the bride (or do we?)

Read Amanda’s fashion blog



The High Street Wedding

It’s wedding season – as Pippa reminded us boldly last weekend. However, unlike the ‘Middletons’, most earth dwellers’ weddings are set to the backdrop of a budget.  And if yours is best described as ‘shoe string’, then look no further than the trusty high street.

Before you shriek in horror, the high street has really upped up its wedding season game, from bridal dresses to Hen Do accessories.

From the tongue in cheek Hen Party trinkets, gifts and wedding night lingerie range at Primark , to purse friendly wedding dresses from ASOS, to Self Portrait, there’s an affordable option for most brides. And the good news is that some of it is available to buy in store right NOW.

Here’s my pick of the best. Once all of this is taken care of, your only concern should be the weather on the day.

Finding the perfect wedding dress needn’t be a nightmare. Look at these high-street gems for your nuptials. It really is possible to find elegant options without breaking the bank or going bespoke. If you prefer the unconventional, you can always look towards more ‘out there’ designer offerings for a dress that doesn’t scream “bride”. From flowing silk and embellished lace to vintage-inspired styles, here are the most beautiful, affordable wedding dresses available now.

1) ASOS bridal trumpet hem maxi dress, £160 Asos.com

2) Topshop satin tie shoulder dress £350 Topshop.com

3) John Lewis Raishma leaf gown, £450 Johnlewis.com

4) Whistles Theodora dress, £599 Whistles.com

5) Needle & Thread embellished gown, £850 Needleandthread.com

6) Self-Portrait backless lace gown, £650 Selfportrait.com

7) Ghost satin dress, £225 Ghost.co.uk


It’s Wedding Guest Season

For those who have been under a rock, or at least ignoring the internet, this weekend Pippa Middleton, sister of Kate and the most famous bridesmaid in recent memory, married her fiance, James Matthews. This has sounded the church bells for 2017’s wedding season.

Many of us have one to attend this summer. But not all of us will have to negotiate a dress code that requires a different outfit for the ceremony and the reception, as Pippa required. Here are the answers to those burning wedding-guest-dressing questions. You’re welcome…

  • What dress can I buy & wear again?
  • A yellow dress

Holland hammered satin ballerina dress, £149, www.finerylondon.com

Yellow dresses are a thing. A dress like this one from Finery works because the neckline – with a spaghetti strap and cold shoulder – is a bit complicated, but in a good way.

The fact that the rest of the dress is anything but means it is versatile, a dress that goes beyond the marquee to other dates in your diary. And a low cost-per-wear ratio is always satisfying, right?

  • What do I wear if I don’t want to wear a dress?
  • A trouser suit

Floral jacquard suit, £110, www.topshop.com

Harry Styles is the patron saint of the jazzy trouser suit. Nearly two years after his black and white floral suit was compared to Ikea (again) bedlinen, the rest of the world has caught up (and in other Styles fashion news, Ikea is now a fashion reference). Trouser suits are huge in womenswear for 2017 – but they are not all “businesswoman” in nature. These ones work for Friday to Sunday, too – see this floral suit from Topshop.

  • Which shoes look glam but can be worn all day?
  • Mules

For the wedding regular, a flip-flop on the dancefloor is a familiar but slightly disheartening sight – like a man in black tie on public transport. Mules are the Frow-approved, 8-till-8 hack to buy into here. The chunky heel doesn’t sink into the grass when you are summoned for the wedding photographer’s outside shot, and the heel doesn’t reach the kind of ambitious height that looks great throughout dinner but impacts fun a bit too much.

  • Which bag doesn’t look weird, plus allows me to hold a glass of fizz & bring the essential keys, money and phone?
  • A silver wristlet

As everyone in fashion knows, silver is a neutral. Buying a silver bag, therefore, is a money-saving move. As for the wedding-specific problem of a bag that looks vaguely dressy, frees your hands to hold alcohol/canapes and also allows you to carry more than a 10p piece, the wristlet is your friend. Just try not to spare too much pity for fellow guests with clutches crammed into their armpits.


Jezza’s World of Sport

  • Jeremy Parmenter

Hi, Sports fans and welcome to another update of sporting events over the last week.


and the ATP in Rome, the last clay court  tournament in the build up to the 2nd Major of the year, the French Open at Roland Garros in Paris.

T’was bad news, yet again, for Andy Murray as he was bombed out in the Quarters, beaten this time by Austria’s new wonderkid Dominic Thiem. Not as bad as it sounds actually as the Austrian went on to beat clay court king Rafa Nadal, who suffered his first defeat of the clay court season, eventually being beaten by Djokovic in the Semis.

As for the other wonderkid who has hit the big time, German Alexander Zverev, he met World No 2 Novak in the Final and surprisingly won fairly easily in straight sets to record his first ATP 1000 title.

Rugby Union

Two superb matches in the Premiership Play-Offs as season winners Wasps played Leicester in a Midland derby and Exeter met double European Champions Saracens who were aiming for the fabled Double Double. In the former it was end to end rugby with Wasps winning in the last two minutes with a late try to progress 20-19 to the Final this Saturday where they will meet Exeter who triumphed 18-16 in yet another nailbiter, with the Chiefs scoring a try literally in the last minute to book their place at Twickenham. Bad news from this match tho’, for Warren Gaitland, the British and Irish Lions manager, as England and Saracens No 8, Billy Vuinipola, a cert for the Test team, has had to pull out of the upcoming tour to NZ early June with a shoulder injury that requires surgery. However, good news for England and Wasps flanker James Haskell has been called up in Billy’s place.

Rugby League

It was England’s Super League Magic Weekend last weekend where all the league matches were played at one venue, namely St James’ Park, Newcastle with the result that Castleford continue to lead the table after their 29-18 win over Leeds. Surprise package Salford, in 2nd  continued their good form with a 36-22 win over Leigh, 3rd placed Hull were stuffed 45-0 by a resurgent St Helens, Wakefield beat Widnes 34-12, Huddersfield beat Catalans 1-10 and Champions Wigan shared 48 points with Warrington.


and after the T20 shenanigans and hullabaloo of the Indian Premier League, where, incidentally, the Mumbai Indians won a superb Final against Rising Pune Supergiants by 1, yes, 1 run, it’s back to serious international cricket for England and Captain Morgan as they start their domestic season with a 50 over ODI 3 match Series against South Africa on Wednesday, a competitive lead-up to the Champions Trophy taking place in June in England, with Morgan’s team, complete with IPL successes Stokes, Buttler and Woakes back in the fold, so let’s hope for some fireworks from both camps.


It was goals galore in the final matches of the season in the Premier League, with 37 scored in the 10 matches, with the race for the Champions League final two places being the main issue to be settled.

Arsenal needed either Man City or Liverpool to slip up, but that was never going to happen as City smacked Watford at Vicarage Road 5-1 to finish 3rd while the Pool won 3-0 against relegated Middlesboro’ at Anfield to book their 4th place and entry in to next seasons CL qualifying rounds, starting in August.

So woe for Arsenal, the first time in 20 years that Mnsr Wenger has not reached the CL but at least they’re still in Europe as they had already qualified for the Europa League!

However, they do still have a Wembley date on Saturday to look forward to, with Champions Chelsea in the FA Cup Final but they weren’t helped by a silly red card given to skipper Koscielny, meaning that he’ll miss out as will probably be the case for their other centre-half Gabriel who was stretchered off in their 3-1 win at home to Everton.

No such worries for their opponents tho’ as they cantered to a 5-1 win over bottom club Sunderland at the Bridge, which saw them lift the Premier League Cup and create a new record of 30 PL wins in a season. Nice touch too, from manager Conte and indeed the whole Sunderland team as in the 26th minute, John Terry was substituted to a standing ovation in his very last  and 717th PL appearance for Chelsea. So congrats to him, “Captain, Leader, Legend” and also to Harry Kane, Tottenham’s England striker as he scored yet another hat-trick, his 5th this season, in their 7-1 win over relegated Hull, to win the Golden Boot for his 29 PL goals; not a bad return following his 21 in 2015 and his 25 from last season.

Manchester Utd warmed up for their Europa League Cup Final in Stockholm on Wednesday with an easy 2-0 home win at OT over Crystal Palace, this despite Jose chucking in a load of “kids” as they head to the Swedish capital for their date with Dutch club Ajax and it’s all or nothing for Jose as win it and it’s in to the CL next season. So good luck to them and to keep England’s flag flying in Europe. Elsewhere, there were final match wins for West Ham, 2-1 at Burnley, Stoke, 1-0 winners at Southampton and at Swansea where Clement’s side continued their miraculous escape from relegation with a 2-1 win over West Bromwich, while, finally, 2016 champions Leicester completed their season with a 1-1 draw against Bournemouth, who ended up in a very creditable 9th.

In to Europe to finish and “Ole, Ole, Ole” as Real Madrid lifted the La Liga title, their first since 2012,  as they beat Malaga on the Costa del Sol 2-0 with that man Ronaldo on the scoresheet yet again, while Barca, in manager Luis Enrique’s final match, could only look on with envy from the Nou Camp, despite their 4-2 win over Eibar.

So, it’s off to Cardiff and the Millenium in early June for the Madridista’s and their date with Italy’s Juventus in the Champions League Final, with Real looking for the Double while Juve will be looking for that historic Treble, having already won Serie A and the Italian Cup. Should be a cracker with arguably the best two teams in Europe meeting head to head and winner takes all!

Elsewhere, great to see Monaco usurp perennial mega-spenders Paris St Germain to the French title and congrats to Feyenoord who won the Dutch Eredivisie.

Last but not least, it’s back to Wembley for yours truly this weekend (London City airport this time after awful Stansted last time!) for the Cup Final and Chelsea’s attempt to achieve the Double, which, if successful, would be their second since 2010. Meanwhile Arsenal attempt to gain some silverware from what has been a pretty lacklustre season – could it be Arsene’s farewell to the Gunners? We shall see!

‘Tis all for this week, enjoy the sun…Jezza

Spanish Football

A Guiri Guide

It is fair to say that as with all national leagues, the vast majority of interest in Spanish football falls on the top league, La Liga, and perhaps more in Spain than some other countries, the majority of that interest is in the very top teams Real Madrid and Barcelona.

With two local sides holding a good chance of promotion in the coming days, we thought it a good time to have a look at the less glamorous end of the football pyramid.

In true Spanish fashion, nothing is simple. Understanding the league structure takes some explanation, and when it comes to promotion and relegation, well, strap yourself in as its going to be a bumpy ride.

Spanish football has a total of 9 tiers. The highest level played by any local team currently is tier 5, though Formentera could change that this  week in their bid for the heady heights of the4th tier 3rd Division (Group 11)

Here we go …

Tier 1—La Liga

Liga de Fútbol Profesional
  • 20 Teams
  • 3 Relegated


Tier 2—La Liga 2

Liga de Fútbol Profesional
  • 22 Teams
  • 3 Promoted
  • 4 Relegated

Tier 3—Segunda Division B

Royal Spanish Football Federation
  • 4 Groups Each of 20 Teams
  • 4 (1 from each group) promoted
  • 18 Relegated

Tier 4—Tercera Division

Royal Spanish Football Federation
  • 18 Regional Groups each of 20 Teams
  • This is the highest level any Ibiza team is currently playing at.
  • 18 Promoted
  • The winner of each group plays in a two leg play off.
  • It is this level Formentera are playing the second play off leg this weekend.
  • The nine winners of the play-off are promoted.
  • The 9 play off losers return to compete in further play offs against the winners of play offs among the teams who finished 2nd to 4th in each group.
  • The 9 winners of these secondary play offs are promoted.

Tier 5 to Tier 9—Regional

  • Things then get really complicated.
  • See if you can figure it out from the Balearic Regional website, but for sure UD Ibiza as winner of their League in the running for promotion to the Tier 4 3rd Division.