Cotton Beach Club

Stan Farrow


Overlooking the bay of Cala Tarida in the south-west of the Island, The Cotton Beach Club was quite the hit last year with islanders and jetsetters alike. Guests were able to lounge on the luxurious private beach and/or grab a bite to eat in the pure white clubhouse decked out, of course, in 100% cotton. So to this year and the club have made some significant improvements, most notably the new FAY roof terrace.

This is where we have decided to pass away a couple of hours to escape from the blistering heat of the Cala Tarida sun and we wearily drag our sorry dehydrated carcasses up the stairs to check out the new space and have some energy boosting lunch. The view is nothing short of spectacular with the rocks, turquoise blue waters and sea disappearing on the horizon. There’s a large screen providing some much needed shade and we head right for it, accompanied by a DJ, keyboardist and trumpeter. I’m so close to dying of heat-stroke that I’m convinced that they’re playing a special theme tune to soundtrack our sad movements across the rooftop.

We’re surrounded by the well-to-do, as we expected when being greeted by not one, but three parking attendants. I take a glance around, trying not to stare at the silvery manes of the men and kaftan covered cleavages of the ladies, to spy the kitchen. It’s then that I realise that this new FAY restaurant is predominantly Asian cuisine as the kitchen is actually a large hotplate in a pit and there seems to be a lot of sushi being made.

Result! We order a feast and first out are some appetisers of authentic naan bread and poppadom. There’s even mango chutney to scoop and the attentive staff do not stop topping up my water. This is a good thing as I quickly transform from a dried husk into a sodden sponge. We’re now more than ready for the rest as we tuck into oysters followed by an interesting combination of tiger prawns, spinach with rocket leaves, parmesan and wasabi ice cream. This is refreshing to say the least…I’m not a big fan of novelty ice cream, but this compliments the dish very well although I wouldn’t risk giving it to a child.

Now to the meinkosu – notice how I’m throwing in some Japanese to look all cultured and that, innit. We’ve gone for the chef’s sushi plate, which comes with a selection of rolls, some nigiri and sashimi along with the usual accompaniments of ginger, wasabi, salad and sauces. It’s high-end sushi and tastes great. Sushi is perfect for sharing and all of us around the table are making those weird little grunts and moans of satisfaction.

One more round left and we’ve ordered a load of deserts to share including Thai fruit, Crème Brulee, Violet Panna Cotta and a selection of weird and wonderful ice creams – green tea, wasabi, sesame and ginger. Those ice creams are really, really good. I might actually have to change my mind about novelty ice creams in future.

We’re stuffed and have cooled down significantly so decide we have enough energy for a quick game of pool on the bright pink table in the corner, chugging down even more water and a bit of Sangria.

I’m in the mood to get down to that amazing private beach, but we have things to do so it’s back to the Fiat Panda nestled in amongst the Range Rovers, and we say goodbye to the wonderful Cotton Beach Club and vow to return soon. I have to give my dining companions the opportunity to redeem themselves on the pool table, right?