A symbiotic relationship is a wonderful occurrence in nature. It’s when two separate entities mutually benefit each other. For instance, the anglerfish is extremely pally with bioluminescent bacteria – the bacteria attract prey to the fish with a funky lightshow and the fish provides a safe place to hang out. Symbiosis also happens with crocodiles and sandpiper birds – the birds clean the crocodile in the places that his little arms can’t reach, and the birds gain nutrients from the parasites and general mess between the cracks. It’s a wonderful thing.
And so as we are wandering through the undergrowth around the bay of Sant Antoni, we stumble upon another symbiotic phenomenon. Two bars on the same bit of land which are separate entities in their own right, but strangely working together to attract the local fauna in order to feed and entertain them throughout the day and night. The bars are Bucaneros and Donnegans, but we shall now refer to them for the purposes of this short piece as the Pirate and the Irishman.
The Irishman is an early riser and loves to cook. From 10am until 5pm – an hour that even the most hard-core clubber can manage to rise by – he supplies a combination of bacon, eggs and sausages with, of course, soda bread. From 5pm, he’s all about the pub grub which includes a variety of pizzas and classic mains such as bangers & mash, fish & chips, chicken curry and the incredible steak & guinness pie. Add to this an all-day snack menu with baps, baguettes, paninis, burgers, jackets and salads and there is literally something for everyone. All the food is cooked with the finest and freshest ingredients and the portions are massive. We at The Ibizan must admit to abusing most of the menu, but we have to heartily recommend the pie which contains fresh steak with real guinness and is topped with the lightest puff pastry. It also comes with perfect home-made chips or creamy mash and, if you’re my age, will instantly transport you back to your mum’s house on meat night. But what of the Pirate, you may be asking? He doesn’t bother cooking as he is far too obsessed with rum and concocting jugs of alcoholic abandon, but the Irishman is a friendly chap and supplies snacks to the Pirate and his crew from 5pm onwards.
In a symbiotic return, the Pirate dishes out the deserts in the form of shots, frozen cocktails, bombs, jugs and special deals on all things drinky. The prices are stupidly low with 2 litre jugs of any cocktail at 15 euros and, once that’s down your neck, it’s time to get your groove on. The music is supplied by the Pirate’s very own DJ Northern Monkey. The monkey also takes requests, although he is a bit slow so make sure to shout any song at him a number of times. Also, if the feeling takes you, make use of the stripper pole next to the monkey. He particularly enjoys big burly blokes having a go.
If all this fun is too much and you prefer a bit of live music, then the Irishman is still open and is just a tad more civilised. Think large steins of beer as opposed to large jugs of mental juice. Every night, tunes are supplied by singer/guitarists Nell, Barney or Roberto with the occasional special guest. All three of them are masters of their craft and give a new twist on classic tunes – we recently heard beautiful renditions of Massive Attack’s ‘Unfinished Sympathy’ and Coldplay’s ‘Yellow’ bursting out of Nell’s mouth.
Come Saturday & Sunday, and pretty much every day for that matter, the Irishman and Pirate love a bit of sport. Hurling fans will be very pleased to know that the Irishman shows all of the GAA games on the weekend and is still working hard in the kitchen supplying food. The Pirate is more in favour of the football and has his own massive screen with multiple screens throughout his ship. Pretty much all of the games are on show, and also non-football special sporting events, along with the jugs of mental juice of course.
Bucaneros and Donnegans. A Pirate and an Irishman in perfect harmony. Symbiotics at its best …