BBQ on the Beach
In a world online first we bring you a food review with scratch and sniff aromas!
Put your nose close to the screen and scratch the image of the plate to savour the unmistakable Smokey delights of a million family Sundays.
Don’t smell anything? OK, we admit that was a bit of a ruse, but it was at least a ruse with some purpose.
We will readily concede that grilled meat is not the most photogenic of plates to feature in a food review, but then aesthetics is not what a barbeque is all about. What it lacks in visual beauty it more than makes up for in smell and taste—and so that’s where you’ll need a little imagination to appreciate the quality before you.
Having had the real deal of this new meal deal available at Jose’s Bull Bar on Port des Torrent beach—literally on the beach—you can choose tables on the sand if you wish, we can vouch for it being cooked to perfection by their grill-master Cesar who has done his Argentinian heritage no disservice in their reputation as the Kings of all things grilled.
The coals are ready at 6pm every night and there is a wide range of plates available from Chorizos Criollo (spicy Spanish sausage) at just 5.50€, all the way up to the Fillet Steak at a still reasonable 20€, especially so given it is served with natural chips and grilled vegetables.
Our interest had been sparked by the meal deal however—tonight was a night to go Neanderthal in all its carnivorous glory.
The mixed platter includes juicy skirt steaks, local pork chops (big ones at that), Beef Ribs, what the menu describes as Chicken Breasts but is more of a, well, Chicken, and of course some Chorizo—you can’t have a platter without Chorizo. All of the meat is fresh cooked to order and a minute or two after placing your order you hear that reassuring sizzle as your cuts hit the grill, from when the added treat of aromatherapy begins.
Together with the meat you get a mound of chips—actually far more than it appears in the photo—those chips are many, many, layers deep—but I’ll come back to the chips, and a litre of good fresh made fruity Sangria, or a bottle of wine if preferred.
We had the platter between two adults and a very hungry child who had honed their appetite through several hours swimming and dad’s sandcastle demolishing, and there was simply too much. Not so much too much that it was a waste, but enough that you found yourself wishing for magic transportation directly to your sofa.
All that for 30€ – which we walked away from content that we had just had one of those rarest of things, an Ibiza bargain.
Better yet for families Jose offers a ‘Family Fiesta’ where for an additional 10€ you get more of the same platter and a litre jug or squash for 2 children (fine to add extra children at 5€ each).
As any family knows that 10€ can go in no time just on soft drinks, so it’s like they are eating for free—plus you get to go on about how squash was good enough when you were small etc etc, annoying for them perhaps but somehow rewarding for us.
OK so all that is brilliant as it stands and you should go buy some but, and this is a very big but. If you like big buts you should strap yourself in as this one is bigger that that of trailer trash on Jerry Springer. Jose has a secret weapon. You may well be thinking he is Spanish, and half of him is. But talk to him and you will immediately know that he is to all intent and purpose English, and specifically Scouse.
If Argentinians care about their grilled meats, and they do, the same can be said of Scouse and their chips. Jose has done the impossible and is making chips that are, get ready it’s coming, as good as/exactly the same as British chip shop chips. There are plenty of places in Ibiza where you can buy very acceptable gastro-chips (that’s poncey to you and me) but to perfect the sacred art of the proper chip shop chip, that takes some doing. And he has done it. He tells me it took some time, and was telling me about a three stage process, but I was already miles away dreaming of the day he perfects batter.
See advert below for full contact details etc, but you can’t miss it, go to Port Des Torrent beach and follow that delicious barbeque aroma.